Billy Jo ducked his head as he entered the airplane door.  They must make these things in Japan, because they sure weren’t made for tall people.  He had never been on a plane before and surprisingly it reminded him of a Grey Hound bus.  He had taken a Grey Hound over to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina because there were a lot of construction jobs available; he was also trying to avoid a very irate husband.  You would think a woman would mention the fact that she was married before she went to bed with you, but some people just have no morals.  If anything the seats were even more cramped than the bus.  Fortunately, the flight wasn’t full and there were a lot of empty seats.  He did a quick scan to see if there were any open seats next to a hot girl.  There was an attractive woman with a dark complexion and long black hair, but she looked a little old for him.  There would be will be plenty of hot women in Bermuda, so he wasn’t in a rush.  He tossed his carry on into the overhead bin and took a window seat in an empty row. 

He was glad he’d chosen an empty row once he got buckled in, because the seats were on the small side for his six foot two frame.  He wasn’t fat, to the contrary he was pretty buff and proud of it, but with his broad shoulders and bulk he’d be pressed up against anyone who sat next to him.  That wasn’t such a bad thing if he’d been able to find a woman to sit next to, but he didn’t want to be sitting that close to a dude for the entire flight.  On cue a big guy wearing an overcoat boarded the plane.  He headed down the aisle towards Billy Jo.  Don’t sit next to me.  Don’t sit next to me.  The big guy passed Billy Jo’s aisle without stopping taking a seat a couple rows back.

Billy Jo had heard that some people were afraid fly; he wasn’t one of them.  He was fascinated by the view out the window as they took off and landscape shrank into the distance.  The cars looked like ants scurrying around on the ground.  He tried to look for his house, but it was a fair drive to the airport from home and any trace of landmarks quickly faded as the plane gained altitude.  Billy Jo stared out the window at the puffy clouds for quite a while until he was interrupted. 

“Excuse me sir, would you like a beverage?”

Billy Jo turned to the man who had spoken.  He was surprised and disappointed, in the movies the stewardesses were always hot women. The man who had spoken was dressed in an airline uniform and was rather short and plain looking.  He must be gay.

“Do you have any beer?”

“We have Budweiser, Corona, and Amstel.”

“Give me a Bud.”

“That will be five dollars.”

“Really?  That’s almost as bad as a baseball game.” 

Billy Jo pulled a wad of bills out of his pocket.  He didn’t have a credit card; he couldn’t even get a bank account since he had bounced a few checks a couple years ago, so he always carried cash.  He’d saved up a couple months for this trip and had five hundred dollars.  Normally he could never have taken a trip like this, but he had built a deck for a friend and the guy had given him the ticket as payment.  Billy Jo polished off the beer pretty quickly.  He looked around for the stewardess guy who was now down near the end of the isle.  What do you call a guy stewardess?  He held up his empty beer and yelled back to the guy. 

“Yo, waiter.  Get me another Bud when you get the chance.” 

Everyone on the plane turned to stare at him.  Apparently, he had said something wrong.  Maybe they weren’t called waiters. 


“This is the captain speaking.  We flying into a rough patch of air and there will be some turbulence.  Please fasten your seat belts.”

Return to The Well Of The Worlds