[SCENE: A well-lit room. All that can be seen is a large plush couch, a big screen TV and a VCR. Noriko walks in and sits on the couch. A cloud of dust rises.] NORIKO: I see... MAGIC VOICE: Sorry. [The door opens, Shion and Marta enter] MARTA: Back to the grind. SHION: As if we are doing anything else. MARTA: Well, I have *lots* to do. NORIKO: Speaking of having a lot to do, where is Ling Ling? MARTA: I think she's been fired. MAGIC VOICE: Due to poor ratings, Ms. Li is no longer a part of this show. SHION: Oh, I bet that must pain Ling Ling terribly. [SCENE: A sunny beach somewhere (probably Australia). The camera slowly pans up a beach chair, flowing up long set of legs, and across a well-toned and full-breasted torso. Ling Ling is sitting in the chair, wearing a skimpy swimsuit, sunglasses and sipping on a drink. She smiles and sets the drink down, letting the breeze blow through her hair.] MARTA: Yes, I don't see how she will be able to stand it. NORIKO: Ratings? MAGIC VOICE: Yes, ratings. I held a poll to determine the fan opinion of the reviewing team. SHION: Of course, I won. NORIKO [sarcastic]: Of course. MARTA: And the results are? MAGIC VOICE: Marta: 17, Shion: 11, Noriko: 5, Ling Ling: 4. SHION: ... NORIKO: 5? MARTA: YEEEESSSS! I'm number one! I'm number one! [Marta dances around chanting] SHION: Obviously, our readers have no taste. NORIKO: Obviously. MAGIC VOICE: Ahem... MARTA: Yeah? MAGIC VOICE: I have the results for this year's Mally awards. MARTA: Did we win? Did we win? MAGIC VOICE: Well... SHION: Great, snubbed again. MAGIC VOICE: "American Kitsune" won Best Sailor Moon MSTing. ALL [deadpan]: Great. MAGIC VOICE: "American Kitsune" also won Worst Fan Fic. NORIKO: There is no argument there. SHION: I agree. MAGIC VOICE: Marta was voted runner-up Best Avatar or New Character in a MSTed story. MARTA: Ack! But... but... but... Argggh! NORIKO: What is *her* problem? SHION: She made a bet with Samantha about who would win. Since she lost, she can't have any sex for a week. NORIKO [stares at Marta for a moment]: She's doomed. SHION: Yup. MARTA: That's *not* funny! MAGIC VOICE: "Where's Ryoko" was voted runner-up Best MSTed story. NORIKO [shrugs]: It wasn't that bad. MARTA: It was great! It was inspiring! SHION: It kept you and Ling Ling in bed for a week. MARTA: So? MAGIC VOICE: And... ALL: And? MAGIC VOICE: Kazei 5 won for Best Non-Standard MSTing Team. [There is a moment of silence then the three start cheering and dancing around.] ALL: We're number one!!! We're number one!!! We're number one!!! We're number one!!! MAGIC VOICE: [sigh] You also have mail. NORIKO: On screen! [All three settle down on the couch: Shion, Marta, Noriko.] MAGIC VOICE: Rob C Bungie << http-www.no.tomorrow.com@juno.com> writes: >Dear Mr. Surbrook, >Hello. As I might have mentioned in an earlier drooling fan mail(^_^) >I'm a big fan of your MSTings and creations, such as the Kazei 5 and >other RPG addons. SHION: But of course. NORIKO: Enough. > First of all, I'd like to wish you good luck on MSTing the >rest of the 'Shin Akuma vs. Vegeta' fanfic. I myself did not enjoy the >MST quite as much as your others; this was because I personally didn't >find the grammar mistakes funny in any way, just pathetic. However, it's NORIKO: "Pathetic'... that about sums it up. >still a fun read, and worth the time to go through at least once. I can't >wait to see you return to MSTing BGC fanfics, though. To me, those are >the perfect fodder for cyberpunk babes such as the ones showcased in the >Kazei 5 campaign world...well, that, and plenty 'o' sour lemons. Those >never lose their appeal(^~^). MARTA: Lemons! I can always read a good lemon! SHION: Too bad we never get any. MARTA: Speak for yourself, I get plenty. NORIKO & SHION: ... > In fact, the writers of Neon Exodus >Evangelion(massive, horrid EVA SI) and one of the fics I am MSTing >called Undocumented Features(massive, horrid X-Over SI) have written >a massive, horrid BGC S-I called Hopelessly Lost. In the future, if I >actually manage to finish riffing all 83 pages of UF soon enough, perhaps >we could do a group MST of it? Not right now, though...too much stuff to >work on. I'm also writing a cyberpunk styled fanfic series of my own, >called 'My Gift To You'. Perhaps you'd like to read it? There are only two >parts done, they're relatively short, and I don't think they are TOO >bad...please reply when convenient. NORIKO: What ever happened to this? MAGIC VOICE: Uhm... I forgot. SHION: Great. MAGIC VOICE: Well, moving right along, Shawn Winston < writes: > Um.. hello.. I'm a little hesitant about writing this, cause i dont >want to seem stupid (probably failed already), but i just wanted to let >you know that i've really enjoyed your MSTings.. I'd almost regained >faith in the intelligence of humanity when i started reading some of the >things people posted. You were one of the few people out there who kept >that notion from completly going down the drain. The MSTs are truly >humerous, especially the ones with the Kazei 5. I'm probably not >expressing myself right, but it's 2 in the morning, and i'm awake only >by the benefits of caffine.. anyway, I just felt that i should write you >and tell you that you're doing a fantastic job, and i hope to read more >in the future. Keep it up! NORIKO: Well, at least someone respects me for my mind. MARTA & SHION: ... MAGIC VOICE: prozacchan@itookmyprozac.com writes: NORIKO: 'Prozacchan'? SHION: I don't want to know. >Dear Mike and Ladies-- > I loved the MiSTing of "Shinakuma vs. Vegeta!" Veggie, indeed! I >have it on good credit that Vegeta wants to fry the author! (Down, >boy! Down!) Also, making this Thane guy Ranko's brother? Does that >mean that he has a half-sister? *confuzzled* Anyway, about Marta- >sama's question about the "hiryuu shoten ha" being Japanese for >"revised horizontal blast", it's not even close. Thanks to my handy- >dandy Japanese dictionaries, I was able to clear this up. >Revised Horizontal Blast in Japanese is "Kaiteiban suihei bakuha >suru". MARTA: Yeah, try saying that one three times fast. SHION: Kaiteibansuiheibakuhasuru! NORIKO: Showoff. MARTA: ... > "Hiryuu Shoten Ha" in English means (well, I couldn't find >'hiryuu') "bookstore tooth/group/leaf/blade". ALL: [snicker] NORIKO: I am so terrified of the bookstore tooth blade! MARTA: [laughter] >Can't wait to see y'all's next work! MARTA: Looks like this is it. MAGIC VOICE: Showtime! [The TV turns on] SHINAKUMA V.S VEGETA MiSTed by Michael Surbrook with Noriko Kobayashi, Marta Nys and Shion Nys >ShinAkuma V.S Vegeta SHION: Seen it. MARTA: Read it. NORIKO: Hated it. >"The Race For The Dragon Balls" ALL: [yawn] >Part 3 NORIKO: A New Hope. MARTA: That's part 4. >The airport was crowded, NORIKO: This isn't Narita Airport is it? SHION: We can only hope. MARTA: When are the fireworks? MAGIC VOICE: No one is going to understand that reference... >Bruce and mike were getting bumped ALL: Oof! Ow! Sorry! Watch it! Hey! >around with the greatest of ease. MARTA [singing]: Just like those wonderful men on the flying trapeze! SHION: Marta, please... DON'T SING! >Bruce was trying his best to communicate with people, MARTA: HULLO! HULLO! SHION: What's wrong, Ms Gumby? MARTA: MY BRAIN HURTS! NORIKO: Oh, in that case it will have to come out, then. >but his japanese was lacking at best. NOIKO: Yes, it was missing a captial. >"eh heh, mike, this is something I forgot to think about" bruce said MARTA [little kid voice]: I gotta go to the bathroom! >"Well thank you for bringing that to my attention NOW!" mike roared SHION: Mike seems a little stressed. MARTA: Ya think? >"ok, calm down, no problem" Bruce said >As mike and bruce were walking, NORIKO: See Mike and Bruce walk. SHION & MARTA: Walk Mike and Bruce, walk! SHION: The suspense is killing me. >They bumped into a man, MARTA [A-ko voice]: Sooooorrrrrryyyy! >who mike knew rather well. SHION: IfyouknowwhatImean! MARTA: Isn't that *my* line? >It was, ken. SHION: Oooohhh... the plot just picked up. MARTA: So did your hormones. NORIKO: ... >Ken masters to be exact, Mike's sensei NORIKO: Oh, but of course. >"Whao! Watch it there!" ken turned to see who had bumped into him MARTA: A trained martial artist at work, ladies and gentlemen. >"heh sorry man" mike said SHION: Woah... dude! MARTA: DUDE! NORIKO: dude? >"The hell?!" mike jumped back suprised MARTA: You're Jean Claude van Dame! SHION: No, that's Guile. >"no problem, oh, it's you mike, NORIKO: And here I thought it was someone important. >looking for a fight?" ken said SHION: The set up for any Jackie Chan film. MARTA: So? >"umm no, actually, ken, me and my pal here, NORIKO: Robin, the boy hostage. MARTA: Whoa, Noriko gets dark! >are looking for Akuma, SHION: The big blue guy from Atlantis? MARTA: That's Attuma, Shee! NORIKO [Arnold voice]: It's not an Attuma! SHION & MARTA: [stare at each other for a moment and then slowly move away from Noriko.] Heh... yeah, sure, whatever you say. >he kinda sorta trashed bruce heres dojo" mike said pointing to nothing NORIKO: ie. the plot. >"eh?" ken looked MARTA: See! It is Jean Claude van Dame! SHION: No... with lines like that it has to be Keanu Reeves. >"umm mike, you are talking to the air" ken said, looking at the empty > space oddly SHION [Ken]: Funny, the plot was here a moment ago... >Apparently bruce had gotten lost. NORIKO: Can you blame him? He was looking for the plot. >By now bruce was elsewhere in the airport. MARTA: Starring in Die Hard 4, no doubt. >He was in a section of the airport that had not been used in months since >a terrorist attack had forced them to shut this wing down. SHION: Wow, good call Marta. MARTA: What can I say? That's why I'm number one! >Bruce looked around, NORIKO: And around and around and around... SHION: And he still couldn't see a way out of this story. >and to his dismay, no one was around...... ALL: And around and around and around... MAGIC VOICE: Could you stop that? I'm getting dizzy. >....now lets check in on miss jameka..... MARTA: Starring in her first feature film: "Ganja Girls"! NORIKO: I really don't want to know. >Meka was by now showering. MARTA: See! I was right again! SHION: Yes, you are very smart... now shut up. >Her apartment was well furnished. >And looked rather nice. NORIKO: When did this become a issue of "Better Homes and Gardens"? >On a table outside, was a glass case of space age minerals. SHION: ie. Plastic. >Inside of the case, was an odd looking amber stone. NORIKO: The plot, ladies and gentlemen! MARTA: TUMMMMMTUM!!! >With three small stars inside of it. >The case, had come from an institute in tokyo, japan. SHION: Okay, but what about the dragonball? >She was going to take it back to america, when she was finished with her >work in japan. SHION: But what about the dragonball? >As a courtesy to her institute. MARTA: She wasn't going to tell anyone she had it. >..........back to the airport.... NORIKO: Has Ganossa blown it up yet? SHION: We can only hope. >By now, mike and ken, were outside the airport, and explanations had >been given. NORIKO [Mike]: You see Ken, I'm stuck in this horrid fanfic and... SHION [Ken]: Just cut to the chase. MARTA [Mike]: I'm still a virgin. >And bruce was still in the wing of the airport, that was shut down. >"hello!" bruce called out to nothing. MARTA: HULLO! HULLO! SHION: Ahhh... Ms Gumby, you're back. >"Where is mike?!" bruce wondered NORIKO: Looking for the plot. >.......let's pan back to japan. >Meka was by now, on her couch. Watching TV. >She yawned, looking at papers on her coffee table SHION [Jameka]: I'm being evicted? >"I don't want to go to work tomorrow!" she whined to herself NORIKO: Typical American work ethic. >With that, she snuggled up on her couch MARTA: She snuggled up with her couch? That's kinky! NORIKO: It said 'on'! MARTA: On? With who? Inquring minds want to know! SHION: Too bad you don't have one. >...lets pan back to the airport, and see if bruce and mike will ever get to >there destination... NORIKO: Wait... what was the point behind that last scene change? SHION: Nothing... MARTA: At this rate, Bruce and Mike are going to die of old age before they find the front door to the airport. >Ken, waited outside, for his ride, his wife eliza was coming to pick >him up >"well ken sensei, how have you been?" mike asked MARTA: Getting more sex than you, apparently. >"yeah, I have been fine, winning as usual" ken grinned NORIKO: Ken seems to be a touch conceited. SHION: It's not bragging if you can do it. >"Maybe we can have a match the next time I see you mikey" MARTA [Ken]: I haven't pounded your face in in ages! >ken laughed at his tease >Mike laughed as well, it was an injoke. ALL: Hahaha... >"yeah well blondie, I have gotten better since last time" mike > grinned. SHION: Yeah, I can get to level two one one quarter! MARTA [Standing up]: Blondie! Do you know what are! You're a dirty, stinking, lousy son of a ----! SHION [Grabs Marta]: Siddown! NORIOKO: Such children. >"oh, really?" ken said, looking to the side, as eliza pulled up in the > porshe MARTA: *CRASH* Oops... I hope insurance will cover that. >"well catch you later bro" ken said, as he waved, and jumped into the >porshe by his wifes side. >Mike waved. ALL: [wave] MARTA: Write when you get work! >By now bruce, had finally gotten out of the airport, he found mike, >with that, they took a taxi, to Jameka's apartment complex. NORIKO: W-w-wh-what? SHION: Uhoh... NORIKO: What the hell was the purpose behind Bruce getting lost in the airport then? MARTA: Chill, Noriko. NORIKO: That scene was an entire waste of at least three pages! I... I... [visibly relaxes] I will *not* get worked up over this... SHION: Good for you. >*THUMP*THUMP*THUMP* MARTA: Way to go Bruce, I think you managed to hit every step on the way down. >was heard at meka's door SHION [deep voice]: Somebody's at the door! >Meka snored still. MARTA: SNNNOOOORRK! NORIKO: Sounds like a typical day for Katsumi. >"Meka my sweet!!" mike yelled SHION: So it's 'Meka' now? NORIKO: Perhaps it's some sort of candy? >"WHATTTT!?!?" Meka hopped up ALL: He said "Meka my sweet!!" >"GRRR" meka flung the door open MARTA: WHAM! Oh, sorry there Mike, did that hurt? SHION: No, he always writhes on the floor in pain when people open doors into his face. >"yeah I figured, that would wake you up punk" mike said NORIKO: I see that this relationship is off to a fine start. >"AGH, what are you doing here wimp" meka said NORIKO: My guess is looking for some proper puncuation and capital letters. >Mike grinned, bruce followed in behind him MARTA [Mike voice]: We're gonna get some! We're gonna get some! >"we have come to stay with you for a few weeks meka" Bruce said NORIKO: Remind me never to use their travel agency. >her eyes widened, then narrowed >"WHY ON EARTH, DID YOU HAVE TO PICK ME!!" meka roared >Mike and Bruce's hair was blown back... ALL [their hair is blown straight back] SHION [combing her hair back down]: Dammit! Do you know how much of a pain that is fix? MARTA: WHAT? NORIKO: I think I'm getting another migraine... funny, I never had headaches until I started working with you two... >She began to calm down. NORIKO: Breathe, hold, release. Breathe, hold, release. MARTA: Noriko, I didn't kow you cared. NORIKO: This is for *me*, not *her*! >"ok ok, fine fine, just stay outta my way" Meka said to bruce >she pointed at mike MARTA: Wow, she keeps it cold in her apartment. >"AND KEEP HIM AWAY FROM MY BEDROOM!" meka said as she >stomped off to her bedroom SHION: So, how long have those two been going out? >"Whaaattt?" Mike said innocently SHION: Wow, sounds just like you, Marta. MARTA: What? NORIKO: I see. >With that, they began to unpack... MARTA: Lesse, soap, deodorant, toothbrush, hairbrush, guide to Tokyo nightlife, 20 pack of condoms... NORIKO: You're looking in your purse, Marta. SHION: My sister has condoms? This I've got to see. MARTA: Oh knock it off, both of you... >.....The night passed quickly.... SHION: And without much pain. >By, morning the Masaki house was aflutter with life as usual. NORIKO: My guess is that Ryoko and Ayeka are throttling each other right about now. >Washuu was in the kitchen, making breakfast. NORIKO: Hurm... MARTA: What? Did you forget who's fic this was? SHION: I'm not certain... is Washu cooking an omen of doom? NORIKO: Actually, this is refreshing. A Tenchi scene that doesn't start with Sasami making breakfast. >Veggie, was outside. >As was thane, By now, after seeing the morning news, vegeta was >worrying. SHION: Washu's cooking? Oh no! >He took out, a thing, MARTA: Ack! Put that back in your pants! NORIKO: That says "a thing". MARTA: Oh, uhm... I... uh... SHION: I think you should quit now, before it gets ugly. MARTA: Good idea. >that looked like an old pocket watch. >It was really the Dragon ball locator. >"ACK!" he yelled as he looked at it. NORIKO: I'm late for the Cell Game! MARTA: How would you know that? NORIKO: I have my ways. >"Two of the earths dragon balls, are moving, that can't be though" >veggie thought >"heh, I told ye lad, I know that Akuma, would nae waste any time at >all" thane said smirking. NORIKO: Now... if Vegita thinks that top line, how is it that Thane is able to comment on it? SHION: Thane's a telepath? NORIKO: All things considered... MARTA: I wanna know why Vegita hasn't plastered Thane for smirking at him. >"well, I guess, it's time we be off" veggie said, looking to the sky NORIKO: Trust me, you're plenty off already. SHION: Is it just me, or have you become a bit more... unrestrained since we last worked. NORIKO: I'm dead, what do I care about restraint? SHION: You have a point. >"What ever ye say sayain" Thane said MARTA: Can ya smell what the Rock is cookin'? SHION: I'd just like to be able to understand what the Thane is sayin'. >vegeta, began to glow, then shot up into the sky like a rocket. SHION: I told you they shouldn't have let Washu cook. >Thane disappeared. >.......Back to meka's appartment... MARTA: Meanwhile, in another part of the movie. SHION: Stately Wayne Manor. >"GET OUT OF MY CLOSET!!" meka punted an old man out of her room NORIKO: Dan? SHION: What? MARTA: Wow... Noriko, you need to be dead more often! >"WHAT A HAUL, WHAT A HAUL" happosai said, as he sailed through the >air, passing bruce and mike, and through the door or her appartment. MARTA & SHION: Goooooooaaaaaalllll!!! NORIKO: "...through the door or her appartment"... Someone better make up their mind here. >"ummm meka, who was that" bruce asked., looking at her. MARTA: Chester the Molester. SHION: Uncle Ernie. NORIKO: Stock footage reel number 5. >"just some old guy, that I catch in my house all the time trying to >steal my panties" meka said >"he's almost as bad, as him" she pointed to mike >"HEYY!, im not that bad" Mike said MARTA: That's, true, Mike gets all he wants off of the Internet. [The ceiling cracks and white dust flutters down] MAGIC VOICE: Uhm... I really think you shouldn't do that. SHION: Damn 4th wall... >Meka went back into her bedroom, she got dressed, and bruce had to >pull mike back from looking through the keyhole. NORIKO [looking at the ceiling]: Why am I here? >She came back out, dressed in a training Dogi. ALL [stunned silence] NORIKO: Training? SHION: Doggy? MARTA: Bwahahaahahahaahahah! NORIKO: What, may I ask, is a 'training dogi'? SHION: Maybe she strapped a pair of collies to her chest? MARTA: Bwahahaahahahaahahah! NORIKO: I... I... no, I'm not even going to go any further. >"hey, whats with the getup" mike said. MARTA [snicker]: I'm taking my dogi for a walk! Wahahahaahah! >"It's a training gi, Duh!" meka said sarcastically NORIKO: A training gi? SHION: Yes, a training gi Noriko. If you had a bust line, you might know what one is. NORIKO: There is *nothing* wrong with my... [pause] Ahem... I'm going to ignore that remark. MARTA: Hehe... maybe it's got training wheels? ALL [snicker and then start laughing] >"well I know that, punk, I just want to know, why you are wearing a >training gi, MARTA: Yeah, you're as flat as a board! >I was not aware that you knew martial arts" mike said >"heh, I picked up a few things in my time" Meka grinned SHION: Like a can of mace maybe? >"yeah yeah" mike said >"please, thats enough" bruce said >"well im going to find a library or something, so I can get some more >information on akuma" Bruce said NORIKO: Try Capcom. MARTA: Yeah, four hours in the video arcade should do it. >"be careful bruce" meka said >I will bruce said, SHION: He's a dead man. >with a smile, as he turned and closed the door MARTA [Bruce voice]: I'm free! >"Well wimp, im going to the dojo, downstairs, you going?" meka asked >mike NORIKO: May be Mike will try and find out where all the extra commas are coming from... >"hell yeah!..oh err..i mean uhh..yeah, I will go" mike said SHION: Try not to get so excited Mike, this isn't a lemon fic. MARTA: Too bad... >"ok"meka said >With that, they began to move downstairs. >It was not long before they got to the dojo. NORIKO: This pacing in this story is just amazing. It's keeping me on the edge of my seat. SHION: Alright... I'll bite. Why? NORIKO: Because I can't wait to leave this room. >It was slightly small, but good enough for the purpose of traning. >Meka, walked over to the punching bag, SHION: Odd way to spell 'Mike'. >and mike just watched, smirking. >She opened her training, witha flurry of fast kicks and punches, >almost fast as lightning. MARTA [singing]: Everybody was kung fu fighting! Throwing punches as fast as lightning! >Mike's eye's widened in surprise. >He clapped a few times. >"pretty good" mike said standing MARTA: You're petulant, but not concentrated enough. NORIKO: Not this again... >"but, how about a real fight" mike said SHION [Jameka voice]: Sure, bring in someone real and I'll fight him. >"who?" she looked around to annoy him NORIKO: She's annoying me, that's what she's doing. >"I don't see anyone here" meka said >"HEY!! ME!!" mike yelled >She smirked, and said sweetly >"Sure, I will enjoy beating your hide wimp" SHION: Sounds like you're kind of date Marta. MARTA: ... >Meka cracked her knuckles, and climbed up into the small sparring ring >Mike flipped in MARTA: And promptly fell flat on his face. >"Alright, get ready!" meka said ALL: MORTAL KOMBAT! MARTA [deep voice]: Let Mortal Kombat begin! >"I was born ready" mike said, with a grin. SHION: Ughh... Jack Burton did that line far better. >Meka opened the fight, she threw a roundhouse to mike's head >He staggered back. MARTA [Mike voice]: What was that? A charade? Again , with feeling! >Then came back, with a sweep, knocking her on her, NORIKO: ...extra comma. SHION: You're getting this gag from Elmer Studios aren't you? >back and catching her offguard. >She quickly flipped up. >Bringing her, foot to his face. MARTA: BOOT TO THE HEAD! >Mike dodged backwards, and then ax kicked. >She caught his foot, in a block, and flipped him off, flat onto the mat. >Mike got up quickly. SHION: So, which one is Ed Gruberman? MARTA: I'd say Mike. >He started gathering his chi. NORIKO: Which had once again spilled all over the floor. >Then he ran in >"SHORYUREPPA" MARTA: What? Is this the Ebonics version of Streetfighter? SHION: Maybe it's Esperanto? > mike yelled, as he performed Three dragon punches, >each more devastating than the last. >Meka flew backwards >up into the air she went, but, she was gathering her chi as well. NORIKO: They really should consider deeper pockets if they keep spilling their ki like this. >"WIND RAZOR KICK" She Flew in like a bird, MARTA: Floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee! >with her kick, at mikes head SHION: I see Jameka has too many commas as well. >THWACK* ALL: WA-TAK! >Mike flew backwards. MARTA: Nice knockback! >Meka landed on her feet. >She grinned. SHION [Jameka voice]: Bet that hurt, didn't it? >Mike got up a lot slower this time. >Mike started glowing Red. NORIKO: Therefore showing that Mike is evil. MARTA: How so? SHION: Rule number one of anime; good guys glow blue, bad guys glow red. MARTA: Uhm.. why? NORIKO: Because blue is higher up on the moral spectrum than red. MARTA: Ohhh... >He leaped up in front of her >"SHINKUUTATSUMAKISENPUKAYAKU" MARTA: SUPERCALAFRAGALISTICEXPIALADOCUS FIST! >mike yelled, as he caught her in the hurricane kick. SHION: Taste the power of my flying whirlwind kick, assshole! >Meka took about ten hits, before blocking. MARTA: Ow, that's some serious autofire. >Then she came up with a counter. NORIKO: Tap Tsui Hark to dispel bad martial arts stunts. >With one hand raised, NORIKO: She asked if she could be excused from this mess. SHION: Not a chance. >she attacked >"SKINUUHAKODAN" This attack projected. MARTA: Skin of hentai Dan? SHION: Don't give Rebecca ideas. >The fireball slammed into mike. ALL: TOGG! >Mike staggered backwards. >He started gathering chi for the finish. NORIKO: Gather ki, fire attack, get hammered, repeat. MARTA: Then, Mike explode. >"SHINKUUHADOUUUKEN" Mike yelled as he blasted meka out of the >ring MARTA: Didn't he just use that one? SHION: I think his keys keep getting stuck. >Meka, lay on the floor, out cold, then mike flopped down. MARTA [Mike voice]: At last! I can take Meka out on a date! >....Back at meka's apartment. NORIKO: I predict this will be the last we see of Jameka's apartment. SHION: You're on! MARTA: Not me, I know better. >*KNOCK*KNOCK* ALL: SOMEBODY'S AT THE DOOR! >Thane knocked at her door. NORIKO: And if you thought this was redundant before... >No one answered, because obviously no one was home. SHION: The plot's not here either. >Veggie, stood annoyed. MARTA: So what else is new? >"come on lady, answer the door" veggie said annoed, with arms folded. >"veggie lad, have patience" NORIKO: I'm not certain what is more out of character... Vegita waiting outside the door, or his not blasting Thane for calling him 'Veggie'. >Just then, veggie, and thane perked up, feeling a bad presence. SHION: Probably breakfast. >And then a huge Explosion. ALL [deadpan]: And then, scene explode. >Veggie and thane looked at each other. MARTA: I've always loved you. >"Fug it" they crashed through the door NORIKO: 'Fug'? SHION: Don't even ask... >Then they both saw him, SHION: Bill Gates? MARTA: Dan? >it was Akuma, the apartment was completely destroyed. NORIKO: And as usual, the sentences made no sense. >"AKUMA!!" Thane yelled MARTA: SHANE!! SHION: KHAN!! NORIKO: KANEDA!! >He almost instantly started charging a fireball SHION: Must have a platinum Master Card. >Akuma snarled. >"is this for real" veggie said with a smirk NORIKO: Oh, I hope not. >"VERY REAL, veggie lad" Thane said MARTA: It's the really real world! >"ok then" Veggie hurled a blast at Akuma, which just phased out. >Veggie's eye's widened. SHION: Vegita has just realized that he's only second banana in this fic. >"Foolish mortals" akuma laughed ALL [deadpan]: Hahahahahahaahaahahahaaa... < >With that he smashed, his hand through the glass case. >Grabbing the third dragon ball, in hand. >"SHINKUUUSEMESEKEIHADOUKEN" Thane fired his attack SHION: Anyone have any clue as to what that is? NORIKO: I think the author knows only three special moves from Streetfighter, the rest is just random scrambling of the words. >It hit home on akuma, but only for a moment, akuma, floated backwards MARTA: Running into an extra comma. NORIKO: I think we've over done it on that joke. SHION: Doesn't stop Tsuneo. >Veggie launched an assault on akuma, just as thane attacked. >"hmmm...maybe I have time for one fight" akuma said MARTA: If this was anything like the original series, Akuma would be getting his ass kicked right about now. >"damn right you do" veggie growled SHION: At least somone is close to in character. NORIKO: A rather scary concept if you think about it. >"YOU DARE ME" Akuma Roared NORIKO: Dare what? SHION: This guy really needs to lay of the capitals, he's running out of them everywhere else. >Akuma began to gather his chi, and veggie sensed akuma's power level >raising to that, of the mark above his and thane's combined. MARTA: Big deal, Vegita hasn't even hit Super Saiyanjin yet. >"uhhh thane, what is this guy" veggie floated midair NORIKO: A really pathetic attempt at a villian. SHION: A hopelessly overpowered idiot? >"A demon to put it simply" MARTA: Oh, and that too. >thane said, floating arms folded, with an energy shield curved around >him. SHION: Big deal, I can do that... hell, even *Noriko* can do that. NORIKO [sarcastic]: Oh, thanks for the compliment... >"he's getting more powerful thane, I'm not sure if we are going to be >able to kick his azz like this" veggie said MARTA: So, anybody know where the 'azz' is? SHION: Mexico, I think. >"im nae sure either veggie, I just used one of my most powerful >attacks, and it barely phased him. NORIKO: Yes, but how many people do you know of are harmed by the overpowering pile of capital letters attack? >......back in the dojo.... SHION: Where no one has any clue what's going on. >By now meka and mike where running up the stairs to her apartment, to >see what had happened. MARTA [excited]: Do you think it's Santa Claus? >"hurry up mike!!" meka said >"geez, im going im going" mike said climbing the stairs. >When they got to the top, they did not like what they seen. NORIKO: The absence of a plot? >Meka's apartment was totaled, in fact, the entire floor, was leveled, >and thane, and vegeta, where fighting with Akuma, midair SHION: Who's Midair? NORIKO: [hold out her hand, palm up] Pay up. SHION: [grumbles and drops a stack of bills into Noriko's hand] >Mike stood in disbelief, as did meka MARTA: They can't believe my sister was dumb enough to take that bet either! SHION: [smacks the back of her sister's head] MARTA: Owww!!! >Mike scratched his head NORIKO: I guessing it's fleas. SHION: Dandruff. >"You know, meka, any other day, that might seem strange" Mike said >puzzled NORIKO: Hah! In the AMP that's that just another day at the office. >"uh huh" as she fell over ALL: Wanh, wanh, wanh, wannnnnnh! >The battle between akuma, and Vegeta, and Thane, NORIKO: And the commas. >came to an End quickly. >Vegeta yelled MARTA: Where the hell are all of these commas coming from? >"FINAL FLASH" and his huge bolt attacked akuma. MARTA: Wow... kinky! SHION: That's bolt, not...[pause] why do I bother? Why? >Thane came MARTA: Wow! Thane sure is mrmph! SHION: [holding her hand over Marta's mouth] I should have done this sooner! >in with a midair "SHINRYUUKEN" NORIKO: [yawn]. >Akuma smirked, and blocked it all. MARTA: What? How the hell does Akuma get off blocking something that cut Perfect Cell almost in half? Trunks was worried the Final Flash would rip the planet apart! You don't block a Final Flash, you try to get out of its way! NORIKO: Fangirl. >Then he attacked. ALL: Then, plot explode. >"GOSATZU!!" ALL: Bless you! >he flared his chi, SHION: Bared his chest, flexed his muscles, waved his elbows and did that attitude thing of his! >and two dragon shaped flames attacked thane and vegeta, slamming them >into a nearby building. >Akuma vanished. NORIKO: At last the mass of plot contrivances collapse upon themselves. >In Vegeta's hand, was the third Dragon ball. SHION: When, pray tell, did he grab that? MARTA: And why would Akuma be hauling the other ones with him? >He grinned,and slid down the building..... NORIKO: And hopefully out of this story. >End Part 3. [dead silence] MAGIC VOICE: Well? NORIKO: This has only gotten worse from the last chapter of this I was forced to read. And we still have more to go? MAGIC VOICE: Yes... there are four more. NORIKO: You do know that at this rate, the last chapter will be incomprehensible gibberish? MAGIC VOICE: Well... MARTA: Look, even I can see that this story is a hopeless mess. Why bother to comment on it? Any idiot can see that this is a pathetic attempt to write a Self-Insertion crossover... which - as we all know - usually results in a disaster. SHION: It has poor spelling, poor use of grammar, poor use of punctuation, poor use of the characters, no plot, no action, no character development... no redeeming values. MAGIC VOICE: Are you through? SHION: For now. MAGIC VOICE: Well, I have some news for you. NORIKO: What? part 4? MAGIC VOICE: No... ahem... as of May 11th, Kazei 5 is an official Hero Games product. NORIKO: really? MAGIC VOICE: Really. ALL: Yahhhooo! All right! Wahhooo! MARTA: Magic Voice, we forgive you for everthing! SHION: At last! I'm official! NORIKO: Well, perhaps now we will have regular jobs again. MAGIC VOICE: Until next time. \ / \ / -- O -- FFIIIIISSHHHH / \ / \ MAGIC VOICE: Oh, don't forgive me too soon, you haven't seen Part 4 yet. "ShinAkuma V.S Vegeta" written by DeathThane@aol.com. No copyright infringement indended by this MSTing, which is for amusement purposes only. Shion Nys & Marta Nys (c) 1997 Michael Surbrook Noriko Kobayashi created by Jeff Mueller, used with permission. MSTed by Michael Surbrook susano@otd.com Visit Surbrook's Stuff! A Hero System/Champions source (especially for anime and manga material) at http://www.otd.com/~susano/index.html