[SCENE: A dimly lit room. There is a large plush couch, a big screen TV and a VCR. Noriko and Shion are sitting on the couch staring intently at the TV.] VO : The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. [SCENE: Music, flickering light from the TV and assorted sound effects.] NORIKO: So, let me get this straight... Verbal was Keyzer Sozey? SHION: Maybe. NORIKO: What do you mean maybe? SHION: Well, all we really know is that someone stole a truck full of guns and that someone killed 27 people at that dock in LA. NORIKO: And everything else is just fiction that Verbal created to fool Agent Kujan? SHION: Correct. And remember, Verbal states that once this whole mess is all over, no one will hear from Keyser Soze ever again. NORIKO: But... what about the New York's Finest Taxi Service? SHION: Well... that happened as well, but can we be certain that Verbal and the rest had anythng to do with it? He might just be taking credit for something that he knew happened. NORIKO: I... I think I need to see this film again. SHION: Join the club, I've seen it several times and I *still* am finding out new things. NORIKO: I see. SHION: By the way... *is* your father a lawyer? NORIKO: Oh, really funny... my father is involved in business, not law. SHION: If you say so... NORIKO: ... [There is a knocking at the door] NORIKO: Enter! [Rebecca and Tsuneo enter.] SHION: You people... REBECCA: At least I'm not with Him. SHION: True. TSUNEO: [Turns to the couch] Miss Kobayashi? Honored to meet you. [He bows.] NORIKO: Me? TSUNEO: You're well known for your devotion to duty, which I greatly respect. And it's better than hanging around these people. REBECCA: Thanks a bunch. NORIKO: Who are you people? REBECCA: You already know me. TSUNEO: My name's Tsuneo Tateo. MAGIC VOICE: Could you do a full introduction? TSUNEO: Again? [Shrugs, turns to camera] I'm a former mecha pilot from a... well, a brown planet called Wyoming that's about as dull as the name suggests. It's full of beerswilling, redneck Australians. NORIKO: I see. TSUNEO: Yeah. And I hate beer. NORIKO: I can sympathize with your situation. REBECCA: So what were you guys on about? SHION: Trying to make sense of "The Usual Suspects." REBECCA: Don't bother trying. SHION: Why not? TSUNEO: Because it's almost as confusing as the end of "Akira." NORIKO: Almost. But "Akira" is a lot less confusing if you have read the original manga, and I found "The Usual Suspects" to be very intriguing. TSUNEO: By the way... [Leans over back of couch and whispers to Shion and Noriko] Probably best not to say the word "kaiser" around her. She goes a little nuts. SHION: Oh? TSUNEO: Don't ask. It's like Dan and toasters. SHION: [Smiles] I'll have to remember that. NORIKO: Toasters? Dan? MAGIC VOICE: If you're all finished? TSUNEO: You've got one of those things too? SHION: Yeah, but it's not nearly as bad as yours. REBECCA: Very true. [Rebecca walks up to the couch and sits on the edge, next to Shion. Tsuneo seats himself between Shion and Noriko.] REBECCA: Do I really want to know what this one's about? SHION & NORIKO: No. [The TV turns on] SHINAKUMA V.S VEGETA MiSTed by Michael Surbrook and with Noriko Kobayashi, Shion Nys > ShinAkuma V.S Vegeta NORIKO: ...versus capitalization. > "The race for the dragon balls" REBECCA: [Bored] What an amazingly original plot for a DBZ fic. NORIKO & SHION : We know. > Part 2 > The day was slowly passing by REBECCA: In the overtaking lane. > around the Masaki Residence. TSUNEO: Amazing. this far into the day, and nothing's exploded yet. SHION: That was last night. > Ryoko was still lazing around outside, after everyone had eatnen, REBECCA: Had... what? NORIKO: You better get used to it. TSUNEO: I hope not. > Washuu's motor oil style food. SHION: This is obviously one of these new cooking styles I'm unfamiliar with. > Thane was outside, by the lake, training, as usual. TSUNEO: And drowning in commas. > Veggie in the g room. REBECCA [Newscaster]: In other news, scientists have detected the remains of the Masaki house in orbit around Mars. No explanation has been offered as to how it got there, although the words "DON'T CALL ME VEGGIE!!!" can be seen burnt into the side. > Now we will pan back to america, SHION: So what the hell were we doing there, anyway? NORIKO: Reminding the readers of the last chapter. > and focus on whats happening in the dojo. > "awww man, this is screwed up" SHION: I don't think anyone will argue you on that point. > Bruce said looking around at the rubble that was once TSUNEO: The English language. > his dojo > "well look at it this way Bruce, at least we are still alive" Mike said > seriously. TSUNEO: Correct me if I'm wrong, but these are the guys Akuma beat up? SHION: Yes. TSUNEO: And he left them alive? That's as OOC as... as... NORIKO: Vegeta living at the Masaki household and letting people call him "Veggie?" TSUNEO: Close. > "yeah true, but, now it's time for us to get some revenge." Bruce said > with enthusiasim SHION: Never mind the fact that he blew you away in one move. REBECCA: [Bruce] Let's run off and get pointlessly killed! ALL: Hooray! > "hell yeah!" Mike said with a grin. NORIKO: [Mike] I'll just go and update my life insurance. > The police had since gathered around the dojo. REBECCA: [Barbrady] Move along! There's nothing to see here. > Bruce gave them a story, that a gas line had exploded, SHION: Explaining why only one wall was knocked down and there were no burn marks. TSUNEO: Hey, these are American cops. They'll buy anything. REBECCA: If Karen heard you say that, she'd reshape your skull. TSUNEO: Well it's still true. > destroying the > wall of the building, no one would of beleived a demon had floated in, > kicked Mike and himself around, then left. NORIKO: They'd believe you. They'd just call some specialists. REBECCA: What, like your people? NORIKO: No, the men with the white coats. > Mike had since gotten into his car, and was waiting for Bruce to finish up > with the police. TSUNEO: > Bruce did. TSUNEO: [Bursts out laughing] God dammit! This is so bloody funny! Oh, my god, I don't believe it! Tell me this isn't happening! It's incredible. REBECCA: Oh, yeah. He's gone. SHION: Already? > Soon, Mike was comming up on his home, bruce was looking out the window of > the car, witha slightly worried look. > Now lets look back in on the Masaki's SHION: For no reason we can see. > By now, it was dark. TSUNEO: Although don't take that as an open invitation. REBECCA: Actually, this is beginning to look a bit Kefka. > Everyone getting ready to go to bed. REBECCA: Ryoko with Tenchi, Thane with Mr. Hand... But I'm not going to riff Vegeta in case he hears me. NORIKO: Actually, as far as we can figure, it will be Ryoko and Tenchi. > "aye, twas such a hard day of training" Thane said, sitting down in his > favorite chair. TSUNEO: What the hell are these two doing at the Masaki household anyway? NORIKO: As far as I can tell? Not much. > "heh, quite too" Veggie said TSUNEO: Say... what do Thane and Vegeta do around here? I mean all the girls do housework and stuff. NORIKO: Well, Thane trains outside with his sister all day, and Vegeta trains in the 100 G room all day. TSUNEO: Don't they do anything *usefull?* SHION: *You* ask Vegeta to scrub the toilet and see how far you get. NORIKO: Lunar orbit, probably. TSUNEO: Natch. > "well, maybe we should be thankful" Tenchi said, trying to be helpful > "im tired of fighting every single day" Ryoko said, squeezing Tenchi REBECCA: In all the right places. TSUNEO: Ayeka must be elsewhere, otherwise we'd have a purple-haired explosion by now. NORIKO: Ayeka and Sassami are 'elsewhere' according to Part 1. > "mm..tis never going to reach full potential with an attitude like that > lass" Thane said looking at her NORIKO: In otherwords, he's directly calling her lazy and weak. SHION: And, given this fic, promptly *won't* be blasted for it. > "i am at my peak!" Ryoko said with a grin SHION: If my sister were here, she'd say something about peaks by now. REBECCA: Twin peaks, even. > "hmm..tis will nae get into that arguement again" TSUNEO: Um... um... huh? > Thane said laughing. NORIKO: Thane is on his medication. > "What's that supposed to mean?!" TSUNEO: You tell me. NORIKO: Obviously the typing got to her too. > Ryoko said, slightly erked NORIKO: Or perhaps 'irked'?. REBECCA: Just so long as it's not Erkled. ALL: [Shudder] > "umm nothing lass" Thane said, to avoid any confrontation. > "well, ok.." Ryoko said, knowing exactly what Thane had done. REBECCA: So why the hell didn't she blow him to pieces? NORIKO: Ask the writer. > "Well, im going to hit the sack" Tenchi said, climbing the stairs > "tenchi wait for me!" Ryoko followed after > and they both went up together REBECCA: And will soon go down togehter. NORIKO: And that about sums it up, right there. > Thane sat on the couch staring at the envelope, which Veggie, seemed > completly unconcerned with TSUNEO: [Thane] Don't mind me, I'm just trying to hi-light a vital plot device. Nothing important at all, just a handy Deus Ex Machina to get this story moving. NORIKO: This is a story? TSUNEO: I... think so. > "Hmmmm" with that, Thane went outside to the porch > "hmph..."Veggie shrugged SHION: That's about as good as the dialogue gets. Treasure this moment. > "tis such a strange thing, i wish veg would look into that." NORIKO: Now it's become 'Veg'? TSUNEO: He's really piling up those offences. > Thane said to himself REBECCA: The only person who cares to listen to him. > ......lets look in on Akuma... SHION: Let's not and say we didn't. > "give it to me old man!" REBECCA: [Elderly] But you're not my type. > Akuma growled at the monk ALL: Grrrr... Grit those teeth! > The Monk scolded in Old chinese. TSUNEO: "Old" chinese? SHION: Maybe it's the stuff you find at the back of your fridge. > "if i have to destroy you to get that stone, i will" NORIKO: Thus giving the character of "elderly monk" the life expectancy of your average Impeial Stormtrooper. > Akuma grinned at the thought TSUNEO: Blood and gore, blood and gore, I want more! > The Monk, jabbed his jade staff at akuma, REBECCA: Poke! Pokey, pokey! Pokey! [They all stare at her] Sorry. Killik's better, anyway. > knocking him backwards > Akuma smirked TSUNEO: That's it. The old dude dies. NORIKO: That was a given. > "this is truly less difficult than the first of these stones" akuma said > all the rest of the monks in the temple, were now outside. SHION: Busy fighting over the best seats. > The second stone, that akuma was serching for, was a holy treasure of > Tibetin mMonks, NORIKO: Is that some sect I was previously unaware of? SHION: mMonks? > high in the mountains. TSUNEO: That contained immense power over commas. REBECCA: Never mind that all of Tibet *is* high mountains. > And, from the looks of things, they do not want to give up that stone. NORIKO : Do tell. > For they can tell, that Akuma is true and bitter evil. NORIKO: Something to do with the black skin and glowing red eyes. TSUNEO: Beware! Near is evil close! SHION: Do you know Ling Ling? TSUNEO: Should I? SHION: She says things like that. > suddenly, one of the larger Monks steped out of the temple, he was huge. > his muscles, easyily drawfed Akuma. REBECCA: Just his muscles? What about the rest of him? TSUNEO: [Monk] I'm huge! > "You are going to have to go though me, my son" The Monk said. NORIKO: He's a dead man. > "if that is what you wish" akuma said SHION: [Monk] I want peace on Earth and good will to all men. > "but i warn you, i will not hesitate to kill" The Monk said, with a > determined look REBECCA: And here I thought Buddhist monks were generally of a passive nature. NORIKO: Well, these are 'Tibetian mMonks'. > Akuma grinned > "well then, try and kill me, for i have the same veiw when it comes to > human life" TSUNEO: And capitalisation, spelling, grammar, punctuation... > Akuma said > With that, he began to charge a huge fireball..... NORIKO: I wonder what sort of credit card he's using? > .....back to america.. SHION: Where four people were trapped in a room watching a piece of drivel. > Bruce was sitting at in mikes's living room, TSUNEO: "Sitting at in..." Whatever. > making travel aragements. REBECCA: I'm going to Disneyland! > There where scrolls of all different sorts all over mikes living room, REBECCA: Oh, look! A scroll of protection from dragon's breath. SHION: Is this a Dragonball Z fic or a D&D game? > they where gathering as much info, on the one, who called himself TSUNEO: -Brett Handy. NORIKO: Marissa? > "Akuma" as they could. NORIKO: Just go down to your local video game arcade and stare at the screens for a few hours. That should do it. > Mike was on the phone, he was talking with a stock broker for mooreware, REBECCA: Sell! Sell! > telling him, that he would be outta town for a few weeks. SHION: Way out of town... > "alright, all set here man" bruce said NORIKO: We strike at dawn. > "now, what else can we get on mr akuma" SHION: Ask Linda Tripp. >Bruce said, with a grin to > himself, looking over the old japanese scrolls > "You know what man? I think, ALL: [Gasp] REBECCA: What a surprise? > jameka is in japan right now" Mike said SHION: Jamaica? NORIKO: Jameka? REBECCA: No, she went on her own accord. TSUNEO: [Hits her with a cushion] That was terrible! REBECCA: Thank you. NORIKO : I mean, what is that meant to be? A lame effort to make up a Japanese name? > "yeah, so?" Bruce said > "sooo! we could stay at her place man, REBECCA: Who is this guy, an escapee from Scooby Doo? > instead of paying out all that cash" Mike said SHION: This guy's a real charmer. If he tried to sponge off of me... > Bruce laughed ALL : hahahah... ha. SHION: Bruce here is on the same thing as Thane. > "you know, she does not like you that much, Mike" Bruce continued laughing SHION : *I* don't like you either. You be careful around us, we're wanted men. *I* have the death sentence in ten systems! TSUNEO: I'll be careful. NORIKO : You'll be dead! > "yeah yeah!" Mike said, and grumbled something intangible TSUNEO: Well, yes, speech normally *is* intangible... NORIKO: What? Did it just float through a wall?? > ......now lets pan back to akuma SHION: *Pan* back? From America to Japan?. NORIKO: That should take some time. > "RAHHHHHH" REBECCA: No, no, no! Not like that, a bit higher! TSUNEO: RAAAHHH! REBECCA: That's better. > akuma growled as he hurled NORIKO: I hope he's going to clean that up, becuase I'm not. > another attack > The monk doged with skill, but he was bleeding heavily now. SHION: Oh, well. Time for him to be disposed of with like all the other nameless extras. > "give up, TSUNEO: And never write a fic again. > your only stoping me for a short time from my goal" Akuma laughed > the monk spoke in a weak tone, a diying mans voice.. REBECCA: [Gasping] There is... another... Skywalker... > "The dragon balls, are...not for the likes of you" The Monk said weakly > "enough of this!!" Akuma growled ALL: Finish him! > "MESATZU!!"Akuma yelled as he fired a wave of pure evil energy at the > monk, slaming him into the side of the icey montain... TSUNEO: Now that's gotta hurt! > The monk slumped down, and began to grow cold, REBECCA: Try reheating him for a couple of seconds. SHION: The bullets inside are so hot, why do I feel so cold? > his hot blood spilled from his wounds, ALL: And the blood goes spurting out, pssshhht, in slow motion! > and the air of his death was unmistakable. > Akuma had won. NORIKO: That generally happens when the opponent's dead and you aren't. > With that he turned to the old monk who had the golden box, with what he > sought so badly to kill for. SHION: Those extra-rare Magic cards. TSUNEO: Not that randomly killing people's OOC for him, but never mind. > Akuma took the box with ease now from the old man > He opend it, and collected his second dragon ball. TSUNEO: Gained key item: Dragon Ball! > ...checking in on bruce and micheal... NORIKO: Whether we like it or not. > By now, Bruce, and micheal, TSUNEO: Were drowning to death in commas. NORIKO: What is with you and commas?. TSUNEO: It ain't me. It's the fic. > where on one of mikes private jets. REBECCA: One of? Obviously he's not one of these guys who flaunts his wealth. SHION: Yeah, he only buys *small* cruise ships. > They where well into the air, SHION: It's up, and it's good! ALL: > "ahh this is the life" mike kicked back SHION: I can agree with that. TSUNEO: [Mumbling] Not fair... I wanna private jet... > "now, remember mike, where not going here for a vaction" bruce snaped > slightly, still stewing REBECCA: Simmer on a light heat for a few minutes and serve warm. > about the destruction of his dojo, what he had worked so hard for NORIKO: Those Joon Rhee franchises don't come cheap you know. > "relax, relax, were no where near japan yet" mike laughed, getting > comfortable REBECCA: With Bruce. > "yeah, but still" bruce said, frowning slightly > "ok" mike said > With that, bruce leaned back in his seat, trying to relax, and get worry > off his mind. TSUNEO: I know it's difficult, but has the typing just degraded some more? SHION: I think it has. NORIKO: Wonderful. > ........back in japan.... REBECCA: Back at the ranch. > Thane got up, and went back into the house, the misquitos, NORIKO: That's 'mosquitos'! > where eating him alive. ALL: Hooray! SHION: One less pointless character for this fic. > Veggie, was by now asleep, on the couch. snoring away. > So, Thane decided to go and get some sleep himself, with that, he did. NORIKO: Was there any point to that scene? > ..........back on the plane... REBECCA: Meanwhile at the Croydon Steam Baths. TSUNEO [Deep]: Cor blimey. > Both bruce and mike snored. ALL: > They were now, about halfway to japan. REBECCA: And we're about halfway to going out of our skulls. NORIKO: Sorry. *That* scene was pointless. > ......Now we shall look in on a scientist, working feverishly in her lab > "yeah!, i might have it this time" SHION : The ultimate orgasm! Uh... sorry about that. NORIKO: Are you channeling your sister again? > meka said, looking at some blood in a vial TSUNEO: [Reading] O. G. R. E. B. L. O. O. D. You may not want to do that! > The blood turned black.... NORIKO: It's dead, Jim. > "damn" meka said annoyed > "Nothings working" she said REBECCA: I can't find my G-spot! > Jameka Brock, a famous vetinarian, and animal speicalist. TSUNEO: A vet.. *And* an animal specialist... [Clutches head] Ow. SHION: Yes, she decided to be a veterinarian because she loves children. > Now working in japan. NORIKO: Isn't it the middle of the night in Japan at the moment? REBECCA: Some people are just workaholics. SHION: Just ask Noriko. NORIKO: > Actually, on a speical assignment. TSUENO: Jameka Brock, Esimo spy! > She was skilled in a form of martial arts, called, TSUNEO: Comma-jitsu. > akido. SHION: So? I know that style. NORIKO: So do I. > And she was very good at it. NORIKO: Has this guy ever heard of a paragraph? Just wondering. > "hmm..well i guess i might as well turn in for the night" Meka said as REBECCA: Turn into what? SHION: A werewolf? TSUNEO : There wolf! > She began to clean up the lab ALL : And see what's on the slab! > She sighed as she worked NORIKO: I thought that was 'whistle while you work? > for she, now, for quite sometime, had been looking for a cure to cancer in > animals, REBECCA: That's nice and all, but how about finding a cure for cancer in humans first? SHION: Oh, they can wait. > and nothing would avail her. > She fliped off the lights to the lab, and walked out. TSUNEO: Even though she'd only just started cleaning. SHION: I've felt that way sometimes. > It was quite late now, SHION: The night is like that.. > the sun had sank deep below the horizon. REBECCA: And there was a loud hissing sound as it hit the ocean. > She looked around as she got outside, and started to walk to the small > hotel she was staying at. NORIKO: Let me get this straight. She's working in Japan on special assignment and she's staying in a *hotel*? Wouldn't her employer find her her more permanent quarters? SHION: Well... maybe. TSUNEO: Are you going to rant now? > ...back to the plane.. REBECCA: In another part of the movie. > "mike!" Bruce yelled SHION: Tetsuo! NORIKO: Kaneda! REBECCA: Jamie! TSUNEO: Tim! > "wake up man, where here" NORIKO: Yes, but where is here? > bruce said as the plane touched down ALL: Touchdown! > Mike yawned SHION: [Yawns] I don't blame him. > "ahhh, let me sleep five more minutes mom" mike said, still half asleep NORIKO: And the 1998 award for the most cliched line ever goes to... > "MIKE!" Bruce yelled into his ear with a megaphone he had just whiped out REBECCA: I don't want to know where the megaphone came from. Really. > "AHHHH!" Mike yelled as he jumped up > "ok, there, now thats better" NORIKO: Except for Mike's ears. TSUNEO: And ours. > Bruce said with a smirk > "geez man, you did'nt have to do that" Mike sweeped bruce down REBECCA: Under the rug. SHION: Be done. NORIKO: But wishful thinking nonetheless. > "ACK" Bruce fell to the ground, with a thump > "that'll teach you" Mike said looking down at him, then he extended his REBECCA: His... no, I can't say that. NORIKO: Thank you, Marta is bad enough. > hand to pull Bruce up off the ground > Bruce grabed mikes arm, pulled him down, getting up himself TSUNEO: And if you fell for that, I'd love to see the guy who supposedly trained you. > "HA!" bruce said, as he got to his feet SHION: Let us say 'HAH'! ALL: HAH! > "ohhh, grandma fighter REBECCA: Grandma fighter! The latest Crapcom game! > wants to play huh?" Mike said with a grin > "no, we don't have any time for this man" Bruce said, getting serious > again NORIKO: [Bruce] Hurry up, before the plot congeals any further. > "alright, i will get you later!" mike grabbed up some of his bags, as did > bruce,and they both went into the airport. SHION: Leaving the rest of their bags behind, I suppose. > "ha, you wish" Bruce said NORIKO: I wish this was over. > "we will see" Mike said with a grin. SHION: See, Noriko? Michael is looking out for you. MAGIC VOICE: I still have "The Eye of Argon" you know. SHION: Oops... > End part 2. REBECCA: That's it? That was a chapter? Two guys go to Japan and Akuma raids a temple? NORIKO: This was extra special... unlike Chapter 1 it had a lot of pointless scene changes where nothing happens. SHION: And they introduce yet another forgettable character. TSUNEO: The scary thing is that it's so short, and could still be about half as long without losing anything. MAGIC VOICE: Anything else you'd like to add? SHION: That I really don't want to see Chapter 3? TSUNEO: Here, here. MAGIC VOICE: Too late. NORIKO: Great. Who is reviewing Chapter 3 with us anyway? REBECCA: Please not me. Take him if you want, but not me. TSUNEO: Gee, thanks. MAGIC VOICE: I'm working on it. SHION: Wonderful. \ / \ / -- O -- FFIIIIISSHHHH / \ / \ NORIKO: What did you mean about Dan and Toasters? "ShinAkuma V.S Vegeta" written by DeathThane@aol.com. No copyright infringement indended by this MSTing, which is for amusement purposes only. Shion Nys (c) 1997 Michael Surbrook Noriko Kobayashi created by Jeff Mueller (c) 1997, used with permission. MSTed by Michael Surbrook susano@otd.com Visit Surbrook's Stuff! A Hero System/Champions source (especially for anime and manga material) at http://www.otd.com/~susano/index.html Jinas & Rick R. Mortis (rickr@one.net.au) Jinas' world: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2628/index.htm RPG info, amateur fanfics, MSTing site and official Bubblegum Crossfire material. Rick's Mecha Madness Page: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/7194/index.htm AntiKevs, Mekton Z conversions, fanfic drinking game, the one and only Common Sense Timeline, crazy Fighters' Anthology .lib and missions, and Utterly Disturbing Nova Satori Shrine. > "awww man, this is screwed up" > Bruce said looking around at the rubble that was once > his dojo