[SCENE: A dimly lit room. There is a large plush couch, a big screen TV and a VCR. All four ladies are already present. Noriko Kobayashi sits on the far left of the couch, while Shion Nys sits on the far right. Between them is Ling Ling Li, while Marta Nys sits on the back of the couch. All are drinking various beverages (Noriko - sake, Shion - Sapporo, Ling Ling - Tsing Tao, Marta - Bass.] NORIKO: Hmm... we all seem to have arrived early. MARTA: Yeah, and reading this story has given me an idea. SHION : Such as? MARTA: Well, it's obvious that the author was greatly influenced by a number of fanfics, so, I thought it would an interesting judge of character to find out what all of *us* liked in the way of anime and manga. NORIKO: I don't read manga. SHION: Bull. You're Japanese, *everyone* in Japan reads manga. NORIKO: _That_ is a broad generalization of the popularity of the graphic novel in Japan... and a rotten stereotype as well. SHION: Okay, *almost* everyone. NORIKO: ... MARTA : All right, then well start with someone a little less stuffy. Ling Ling? LING LING: Uh... well... I liked "Phantom Quest Corp" and "Ghost Sweeper Mikami"... and... umm... "3x3 Eyes." SHION: Well of course you like "3x3 Eyes", you're _in_ "3x3 Eyes". LING LING: Well... yeah. MARTA: Okay big sister, you? SHION : "Blade of the Immortal"... NORIKO SHION: And "Akira", "Blue Sonnet" and uhmm... "Ghost in the Shell". MARTA: Right, and Noriko? SHION : "Silent Mobius". NORIKO : Wrong! LING LING: All right, so what *do* you like? NORIKO: "Appleseed", "Dominion", "Ghost in the Shell" and... "Blade of the Immortal". SHION: Copycat. LING LING: And you Marta? MARTA: Oh... "Gunsmith Cats", "Gray", "Battle Angel" and "Dragonball Z". NORIKO: Some how, I'm not surprised. MARTA: Okay next question. Since the author is probably going to have his character romance Sylia, I figured we might was well get it over with and find out what anime manga characters *we'd* like to date. SHION & NORIKO: You're kidding, MARTA: Nope! LING LING: Then *you* go first. MARTA: Ahhh... well SHION: Time to fess up little sister. MARTA : B-ko, Urd, Priss, Linna, Sylvie, Mai Shiranui, Katsumi Liqueur, Naga the Serpent, Arshes-Nei, Priotess, Ling Ling Li, Rally Vincent and... uh... uh... ... what? NORIKO: ... LING LING : Me? MARTA : Uh... sorry. LING LING: You want to date me? SHION : Well, that was interesting. So, Noriko, the so-called 'Ice Queen', who's *your* secret fantasy? NORIKO : Who are you calling 'Ice Queen', you so-called 'Empress'? SHION LING LING : Me? NORIKO: Ha! Got you! Anyway, my answer - and this is only hypothetical mind you - is 'Jubei'. LING LING Which one? NORIKO: Kibagami Jubei, from "Jubei Ninpucho". MARTA: Whoa, going for the muscle boys are we? LING LING: And you Shion? SHION: Me? I... uh... Well... there's Robert de Vice or... or... Dark Schneider... oh... oh... EVERYONE ELSE: ... NORIKO : Ling Ling? LING LING: Easy! Chow Yun-fat or Jet Li! EVERYONE ELSE: SHION : Well, enough of the totally embarrassing discourse, it's time for the movie. NORIKO: Wonderful... I've been getting a headache trying to decipher the author's grammar. LING LING : Lets go! Tales of the Red Knightsaber Part 3: MARTA: The Search for Spock. Mackie woke up and looked at his alarm clock which displayed 6:02 am. He brushed his hair with his hands as he thought about last night's events. LING LING : I blew stuff up, it was cool! First off he gave his sister the chewing out of the year which she truly didn't deserve and then ran off in his hardsuit and killed 3 boomers possibly saving a few lives. NORKIO: Possibly? I distinctly remember downed AD Police officers at the scene. one image that kept flashing into his head was MARTA: Sylia in her nightgown? LING LING: No, that's the image in *your* head. the red-headed guy Kyrin who ripped a boomer in half just by thrusting his fingers into it as if the boomer's armor was ice cream. MARTA : Hmm... ice cream. SHION: I still don't see the what's the big deal. LING LING: It's just that some of us can't crush tanks with a thought. once who consoled with his sister he would need to nose around for information on him. SHION: Of this should be good. I can see it now: "Hi, I'm looking for a red-haired guy that can push his fingers into a boomer like it's made out of ice cream. Know him?" LING LING: "Sorry, I only know a red-headed guy who can push his fingers into boomer armor like it was made out of jello. Can't help you there." "interesting isn't it" he thought with a chuckle. "dad's enhancements are supposed to give me greater control over my emotions yet I'm still all mixed up..." NORIKO: And we're not doing much better. mackie reached the living room he could see sylia had already gone to her room to sleep. He could hear the TV playing in her room and gathering his will, he knocked on the door. Breathing deeply, "sis, you up?" MARTA: "No!" Heh, that should confuse him. "come in, mackie." As he entered the bed room, he could see that she was busing watching the TV. she was already dressed for the day and he quietly thanked her for not wearing something skimpier as it would have probally made things worst than already are. MARTA: Yeah, but it would have made *me* feel better. Even though he gained some control over his gawking of his sister, it had a way of popping up when he didn't want to. SHION: Oh, is that a poor choice of words or what? "Seems you had a busy night." LING LING: All in a day's work ma'm. MARTA: Aw shucks, it wuz nothin'. the news report on the monitor shows a red hardsuit blowing MARTA: Uh... Mackie? away 3 boomers. MARTA: Whew, had me worried there for a moment. interestingly enough the death of the 4th boomer isn't shown. SHION: Blame it on the man on the grassy knoll. "sis, I'm sorry what I said last night. I don't know what came over me." his voice breaking a little and hanging his head in guilt NORIKO: I am filled with shame. "I...I'm sorry vented my anger on you." LING LING: But don't worry, it come out in the wash. "its okay. But if you ever do it again, I'll personally hunt you down." from the cold way she said the last phrase, he believed her. "You're damn lucky no one saw you fly out of the garage like you did. MARTA: Yeah, fly out the back door like the rest of us. Please try not to do it again. SHION: Oh, that's telling him, Sylia! But anyway I forgive you. In a way its my fault,too. NORIKO: Yes, I'm so over-emotional you know. I've always been the one who has had to look after you after father died and I suppose I've become a little bit protective of you." MARTA: Yes, she's smothered Mackie with a mother's love... or something like that. "so, what do you think of my 'performance'?" NORIKO : Well, I give it a 9.5 on Technical Merit, but only a 3.2 on Artistic Interpretation. LING LING: And from the East German judge, a 2.0. NORIKO: There is no more East Germany! LING LING: Guess that explains why they're so pissed off, then... MARTA : Oh, you were the *best* Mackie. SHION: Don't go there! "you did handled the suit very well in the fight. you handled 3 BU-12's in less than 3 minutes compared to the usual 3-4 minutes for just one. Still, I can see for room in improvement." MARTA: Yeah, you missed one. There was still something nagging him. The mystery man at the seen of the attack. SHION: I told you, it was the man on the grassy knoll. "well, then you might want to know something the news left out about last night. LING LING : I'm pregnant. MARTA : Come again? There was a 4th buma and I didn't kill it. I saw it ripped apart by a guy. MARTA: Can we make *my* suit do that? I don't want to feel inferior. Sylia found herself wondering if someone hit her younger brother in the head last night his little escapade. Ripped apart and boomer don't go in the same sentence she thought to herself. MARTA: Sure they do, if Largo's around. SHION: Or me. LING LING: Or Sonnet. NORIKO: Or Kiddy Phenil. LING LING: Or Son Goku. MARTA : I stand corrected, sue me. "I'm dead serious. It was a red-headed guy named Kyrin Branford. He even told me his name. LING LING : And his address and when he's off work. So sis, you gonna fall madly in love with him? MARTA : Well, ask me 30 seconds after I meet him, he is a self insertion character after all. I think he might be a member of AD police." NORIKO: Don't kid yourself. Sylia found herself staring out into the city before she SHION: Saigon. I'm still in Saigon! continued with her back to mackie "I've heard of him before. He's been in the news before and they've been calling him the "boomer killer". I hear he's trashed over 23 boomers this month alone." NORIKO: He's way ahead of us in the standings, I don't think we're ever going to catch him. Mackie almost fell over in shock "23?!? god, I'd hate be around quincy when he heard that." he finished with a grin. "so what do you think? SHION: Honestly? That you're a hentai pervert. am I in or not?" MARTA: Mackie, when are you ever going to learn? Never ask a woman a loaded question like *that*! Mackie was greeted by initially by silence. MARTA: Obviously, Sylia's still trying to decide if Mackie's *in* or not. SHION: Keep it up and I'm going to smack you. "well, look at this way. you either let me in KS or I go off and take all your business. besides, even you admitted my hardsuit was tops. MARTA: Like I said Mackie, 'you're the *best*'! SHION: MARTA: Owww... Besides. I'm sure you always could use an extra gun." Sighing, she decided what the hell. NORIKO: I see, ever since she let in Bert, the Knight Saber's standards have been going down hill. SHION: Oh, like Nene's a useful member of the team? "alright. but a trial run. don't screw up for a few months and you're in. Anyway you have a garage door to fix today." Sighing, he finished "yeah, yeah, I know. I'll get to it and thanks sis." with that he leaves. Left by herself, she stares out the window for several more minutes before turning around and openning a drawer. In it she pulls out a picture of a younger Sylia, around 16, with her arms around a young man a little older than her. He's got red hair and looks like Kyrin. MARTA: Ahah! Score one for me! Did I call it or what! SHION : Yes, you're very smart. Sit down and shut up. LING LING: Ahhh... over used BGC plot number 9. Sylia's past lover returns. So you've finally decided to come back, Kyrin. I wonder if you even remember me anymore. NORIKO: Of course he will, he's the self-insertion character. AD police HQ was a mad house. LING LING: Like that's any different than it's usual state? Everyone was talking about the new knightsaber in even more fuss than when skyknight had arrived and join KS. Nene heard at least 4 different stories about what happened last night. NORIKO: All from people who were never there in the first place. about 30 officers were at the seen of the attack SHION: I bet that in two weeks that will be 300 officers. and only 7 were wounded before the red knightsaber's arrival. According to Leon's version MARTA: In other words, a complete pack of lies. the red saber saved his life just before a boomer almost closed in on him. NORIKO: Gee, thanks. I don't suppose you could've have been a moment too late, hm? even though he had saved the lives of her fellow officers, nene still pissed at mackie for what he said to sylia. ALL: LING LING: Oh, that's too much! SHION: That ranks up there with "out pooped Sailor Moon"! NORIKO : Nene! How could you! And in public yet! MARTA: And she did it *standing up*, too! LING LING: : What Marta? No golden shower jokes? MARTA: Oh, yuck, that's too disgusting, even for me! The scene changes to the depths of what look like some long-abandoned hotel or warehouse somewhere in the slums of megatokyo. LING LING : Stately Wayne manor. Here Largo was finishing the final touches on repairing and improving his body. SHION & NORIKO: Arghhh! Not again! MARTA: Aw c'mon, this has been done to death! LING LING: Over used BGC plot number 2. The return of Largo. NORIKO: What's number 1? LING LING: Brian J Mason doing anything! He had lost once against his enemy and learned that the knight sabres had also killed another copy of his former body. But that was all behind him as he now had finally devised the body and power needed for his revenge. SHION : There will be no one to stop us this time! Here he stares out into the mega-tokyo skyline with its glittering lights and innate beauty with the Genom Tower standing out from everything else like a huge monolith. ALL: "You've defeated me twice before, but this time revenge will be mind and so will your head Sylia... " MARTA: Largo wants Sylia to give him her head? SHION: Watch it, sister, you're treading on dangerous ground. LING LING: And the writer isn't? Half of the mysterious man's face comes into view. NORIKO: Wake up Kyrin! You already told us it's Largo! His hair is is a light grey tone kept short. His eyes betray nothing but cold grey. he wears a black suit but half of the torso area is white. SHION: I see, Largo is now only visible in monochrome. NORIKO : Like you should talk. he hears the sound of footsteps approaching him and turns around to see a young man- maybe around 16-18 years old. He wears a suit similar to his own but it's dark green rather than black with matching black slacks. MARTA : Oh, those shoes just *don't* go with those pants. "sir?" LING LING : That's Lord High Commander to you. NORIKO: Wrong fanfic. "yes, tetsuya?" MARTA: Tetsuya? Princess Kahm is going to be _pissed_ that you're running out on her! "I simply wanted to bring to your attention that all is going well with the factory. We nearly have reached 100 soldier." NORIKO: Not that I know what '100 soldier' is, but we've got them. "that is excellent news, Tetsuya. Tell Trulain he has done an excellent job." SHION : I will kill him last. MARTA: Sis, you do that *too* well. "I'll do that right away, sir. I'm sure he'll be happy to hear the compliment on his work." LING LING : "Are you challenging me to a doo-ell?" "I'm sure that he will" SHION: He's easy to manipulate that way. "Sir, can ask something?" LING LING: Why are you in this fanfic? "What might that Tetsuya?" NORIKO: 'Be'! The word you're looking for is 'be'! MARTA: Who want's to bet if she was Tom her head would've exploded by now? SHION: Not on your life. "When will we take our first move against the humans?" SHION : As soon a I draw a few more lands. NORIKO: Oh, Magic the Addiction, it figures *you'd* play that. Largo responded with an evil grin "soon, Tetsuya. Very soon..." LING LING: I'm going to give them such a pinch! To be continued... :P MARTA: HA! Sorry bud, but that's all there is and all there is going to be! LING LING: Well, that wasn't too bad, was it? NORIKO: At least we were spared the indignity of reading a lemon. SHION: Indeed LING LING: Well, let's think about this for a moment. What made this fanfic so awful? NORIKO: Right. According to our contract, now we have to offer comment and criticism on the fanfic. MARTA: I guess 'it sucked' won't cut it? NORIKO : No. So... Shion, you will go first. SHION : All right. My biggest complaint is that the author seemed to be excessively unoriginal. Instead of developing his own characters and situations, he placed too much emphasis on the ideas presented by *other* fanfic authors. It also didn't help that he presumed we would already recognize these characters. NORIKO: Ling Ling? LING LING: Well, I also felt that the author was very unoriginal. He used far too many cliched sequences. MARTA: Such as? LING LING: Easy: Sylia's past lover and yet another return of Largo. These two bits have been done to death. NORIKO: Marta? MARTA: Oh... I think just the whole set up. I mean, it's like the author didn't really think about who and what he was writing about. We never seen Mackie attend school, Sylia isn't one to fly into screaming fits, we never see *any* evidence of espers in BGC... there is a lot of stuff that just didn't flow well. SHION: Well, you surprise me little sister, an insightful commentary. So, 'little seaweed girl' what's your opinion? NORIKO : Simple, the author's total lack of writing skills. Missing punctuation, lack of capitalization, misspellings, run-on sentences... need I say more? SHION: No. MARTA: Y'know, this was kinda fun. We should get together more often. LING LING: Marta... I don't know about that. [There is a click and the TV turns itself on. After a few moments of snow, the following words appear on the screen: STAY TUNED FOR THE FURTHER MSTINGS OF: LING LING LI MARTA NYS NORIKO KOBAYASHI SHION NYS AS THEY TACKLE: A TYPICAL NIGHT AT THE STATION AKANES DELERYIUM BABY SITTING TESTS OF FEAR AND OTHER FANFICS] ALL : Noooooo! SHION: Marta! MARTA: What! What did *I* do? \ / \ / -- O -- FFIIIIISSHHHH / \ / \ LING LING: Marta? Did you really mean what you said? Earlier? Shion Nys & Marta Nys (c) 1997 Michael Surbrook Noriko Kobayashi created by Jeff Mueller, used with permission. Ling Ling Li Copyright (c) 1987-97 by Yuzo Takada. This version was used without permission. MSTed by Michael Surbrook susano@otd.com Visit Surbrook's Stuff! A Hero System/Champions source (especially for anime and manga material) at http://www.otd.com/~susano/index.html though he had saved the lives of her fellow officers, nene still pissed at mackie for what he said to sylia.