[SCENE: A dimly lit room. There is a large plush couch, a big screen TV and a VCR. Ling Ling, Marta, Noriko and Shion enter and seat themselves.] LING LING: Well... it has been a while hasn't it. SHION: Only for some. Unlike you I seem to get roped into these things constantly. MARTA: It just shows how popular you are. SHION: Wonderful, that kind of popularity I can do without. NORKO: I find it quite relaxing to know that I'm usually passed over for this sort for thing. I find I sleep much better at night if I'm not forced to review the sort of drivel we are usually subjected to. MAGIC VOICE: Well, speaking of popularity, I have a large number of letters to show you. MARTA: Cool! Bring it on! MAGIC VOICE: First, Logan Darklighter has submitted a portrait of Ms. Shion Nys. Here is is on screen. [go to www.otd.com/~susano/Shion_Nys.JPG] SHION: Ooooooohhhh... MARTA: Well... she's gone. LING LING: Very nice. NORIKO: I'd like to point out that someone did a picture of *me* as well. Magic Voice? MAGIC VOICE: Here you go. [go to www.otd.com/~susano/Noriko.JPG] LING LING: Not bad. MARTA: Hmph... I wonder if *I'll* ever get my portrait done? SHION: Gee sis... how subtle. MARTA: Ha ha. NORIKO: Well, I think Mr. Darklighter can do a picture of anyone of us any time he wants to. LING LING: Yeah, maybe he'll do me! MARTA: Ooh... I can ask him to emphasize your best features... SHION: Yeah, you'll have him make 'em hang to her knees. MARTA: Right! Uh... wrong! Don't be such a smartass, Shee! LING LING : Give it a rest Marta, you're as bad as most men. MARTA: Well... I know what I like, that's all. NORIKO: So you keep telling us. MAGIC VOICE: If I may, I have a few letters. NORIKO: Send away. >From: oderusu@mscomm.com (John Felix) >i always pick the fics that end up getting MSTed by other people MAGIC VOICE: He is speaking of "A Furry Couple". >(who are probally more talented than I, And usually have a spell checker) >anyways: >> MARTA: Hey! You're not Jenna Jameson!!! >> SHION : Like any of our readers are going to know who >>*she* is. >Oooooh! i know i know! MARTA: Uhoh... >Funny, i would have pegged marta as a chasey lain fan (or tara monroe) MARTA: Actually I'm really developing a liking for Rocki Roads. LING LING: Gee... I wonder why. >>personally, my heart will go on... for slymenstra hymen, Whoooooo! NORIKO: Uhm... SHION: I think it is best we don't ask. >> LING LING: Hey, watch where you point that thing! It's loaded! >of course i would have said "watch how you handle that thing, it could go >off at any minute" but thats me... and im sure marta would do the same thign > too :D LING LING: Mmm... nice riff. MARTA: This man scares me. >anyways, More power lesbian action!!! SHION: Wonderful. >...just kidding NORIKO: I bet. > Rev. John Felix >------- >John Felix >Gwar-Fanfics-IRC-Mstings >stubbles@gwar.net >------- SHION: 'Gwar'? MARTA: Yeah, it supposed to mean 'God What A Racket'. NORIKO: Next! >ayeka13@yahoo.com NORIKO: I wonder if she's a Tenchi fan? >Dear Michael and Ladies, ALL: Hello. > Excellent job on "A Furry Couple". Just who was Noriko replaced >with, anyway? NORIKO: What? I'm not allowed to have a sense of humor? > Going back to one of your earlier accomplishments, you >did a wonderful job on *shiver* "Boys' Night". As a personal fan of >the "bounce-bounce girl", I have to agree with Marta. There was >slightly too little Mai and slightly too much yaoi. MARTA: See!!! I told you! SHION: Yes, yes, now shut up. > Anyway, I have a challenge for the ladies. If they could MST >this fanfic I found, called "Turncoat", I would appreciate it very >much. Thanks! NORIKO: Magic Voice what is it? MAGIC VOICE: It is a Final Fantasy fic. NORIKO: Which we know knothing about. LING LING: Like that has stopped us before. MARTA: She has a point. >Ato de, >Ann >"Uh. . .Noriko? Remember what you said about 'oversharing'?"--Marta Nys NORIKO: Next! >Hello, guys! Just thought I'd give you my comments regarding the >MiSTing. Great work! I'm not a Tenchi fan, myself, but you did a good >job with a pretty goofy lemon. Alex's interactions with the girls was >pretty amusing... didn't work quite as well as I expected, but still >pretty good. SHION: Enh? MARTA: She's talking about when me and Noriko busted on "Where's Ryoko." SHION: Oh. LING LING: Oh, *that* story. NORIKO: What is that supposed to mean? LING LING: Wouldn't *you* like to know. >My personal favorite riff was when Alex started the "WOLF-A-RINE!!" >crowd chant, and the ladies were convinced that he just spazzed out. NORIKO: Well... he did. >Just a note, Wolf is a mouse and not a rat, which proves that I need to >spend less time writing about battles between bad fanfic characters. SHION: Sounds like it. >He's from 'The Shadow Warrior', which is really good to be a first >MiSTing. Yes, I'm biased, and the AAA dominates my life. Mock me, and >I'll send Dark Sonic and Kefkain to your house. LING LING: Uh... I'll pass. >But there were a lot of other good riffs too, especially with Marta >yelling at Alex during the lemon scene. I loved her 'multiple orgasm' >riff, too. One of the most profoundly true things I've ever read. ALL: Damn straight! MARTA: See? Admit it, people love my in-the-gutter humor. > And >good lord, those were some of the goofiest descriptions of oral sex I've >ever read. 'Slurping'? Uhh, no... MARTA: Well... LING LING: Well what? MARTA: Nothing... >Speaking of the AAA, Susano, one of your characters will be popping up >in the next few weeks as a special AAA competitor. I'll send you an >advance copy of her match so you can add your own special touch. I'm >sure you'll enjoy it. NORIKO: What was that about? MARTA: I... uh... I ended up in a battle with Samantha Jones. First one nude lost. EVERYONE ELSE: MARTA: What? It wasn't *my* idea. SHION: No, but I bet your protested *real* hard about doing it though. MARTA: Well, excuse me. NORIKO: Who won? MARTA: I did. SHION: I rest my case. >Well, I need to get back to work on 'Coming of Munihausen', all... talk >to you later! MARTA: Hey! I did that already. >Ciao! >-- Alicia Ashby LING LING: You go girl! SHION: Next! >Michael O'Hare >m-ohare@tc.cac.edu.eg > Greetings and salutations, oh virtuous one of the MSTing realm. >Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Michael O'Hare, alias Chaos >Otaku, alias Dark Cobra. Pleased to meet you... er, so to speak. Now, >please allow me to explain my very dire situation. I am trapped in Egypt >right now, and have discovered what my own private Hell is like. I have no >immediate access to anime. Nor do I have immediate access to PRGs, or >M:TG, NORIKO: PRGs? SHION: I think he means RPGs. MARTA: No access to Magic? SHION: No big loss. >or clean air, or clean water, or well-paved roads, or traffic laws, >or any hope. Recently, while I was aimlessly shambling through the dark, >forsaken wastelands of the internet, I stumbled across Shinji's Vault of >Anime MSTings. I was amazed. I had no idea such things were possible >(partaining to both 'crappy fanfics' and 'the MSTing of crappy fanfics' >realms). You nice folks helped save the last two flakes of sanity I've >got. SHION: Thank you. LING LING: I think. > This coming December, I shall get permanent computer access, and I >ahve decided to enter the realm of MSTing. I humbly request that you >kindly tell me how I get into this, as well as any pointers. NORIKO: Go to Shinji's site and read the FAQ. > Also, what's the story behind Shion and Marta Nys? NORIKO: Hmmm... LING LING: Well... SHION: She's my sister... why? What does he think is the story? MARTA: That we are lovers? Like Melon and Non? SHION: We are *nothing* like Melon and Non! MARTA: Well, true, that's why I have Ling Ling. LING LING: Watch it. >Thank you, and good night/day/evening/afternoon/hogie. >Crap. Why do I have to be so verbose when I write? I think I am going >insane... NORIKO: I think this man scares me. MARTA: Right. ALL: Next! >TCSHAN@aol.com >I read a MSTing of "Where's Ryoko?" I don't really mind the lemon scenes, >since there was a story wrapped around them. (And think me weird if you >wanna, but I think anything cabbits do, even sex, is, well...cute.) NORIKO: I take that back, *this* man scares me. SHION: Do tell... LING LING: Next! [The TV turns on] RELUCATANT BUMA MiSTed by Michael Surbrook with Noriko Kobayashi, Ling Ling Li, Marta Nys and Shion Nys >This is a work in progress. SHION: Which means we may never see the end of it... >hartung@ee.fit.edu (Geoffrey (Curt) Hartung) MARTA: Prepare for deep Hartung! EVERYONE ELSE: >Relucatant Buma NORIKO: Relucatant? LING LING: I have no idea. NORIKO: Buma? SHION : It's not a Buma! >--- Part I > It was a dark room. LING LING: I thought it was a 'dark and stormy night'? NORIKO: Poetic license. >That really sums it up, "dark". SHION: Oh, that's a big help. >Or foreboding, which might describe the room better except that >there are plenty of very bright things that are foreboding, MARTA: Right... name one! NORIKO: A brand new Terminator? MARTA: Name two! LING LING: A T-1000? MARTA: Never mind... >so lets just stick with "dark" for now. SHION : Dark... such a nice 'woody' word. > The walls, if one could see them, were black, featureless >panels that really did nothing to alleviate the tension one >would feel while being in this room. Nor did the ceiling (being >higher than the light reached) help either, as it was far too >high too be seen. NORIKO: Bad writing, your name is redundancy. > This room was rather big, MARTA: Ooh baby... SHION: Oh, don't you start. >but one still felt suffocated by >its huge-ness, and while inside it one could not help but notice >the large Buma in the middle of it. LING LING: Since it was probably lit up by a spot light. > The buma was the only source of light in the whole room. LING LING: Told you. > Its eyes glowed red, really read, NORIKO: Read what? MARTA : Read a book! >the kind of red you look at and >think "god, i wish that light was less red". LING LING: Yes, I'd prefer it to be more of a mauve shade myself. >This particular shade of red had the same effect on one's sense >of security as standing in front of a 12 gauge shotgun >wielded by a crazed psychopath. SHION: Or reading this fanfic, take your pic. > Anyone in this room would immediately have only one thought: >getting the hell out of the room. MARTA: I dunno, my thought is, 'let's get the hell out of this fanfic'. > The eyes on the Buma also had a very nasty habit of following >ones movements around the room. Its posture suggested that it was >ready too leap at your jugular at any moment. This was unnerving. NORIKO : Scary even. > The Buma was not as tall as the really big bumas, nor as >short as the smaller ones the Knight Sabers chew up like so much >tinfoil. LING LING: Does any one still use tinfoil? >It had the big muscles you would expect to see on any >self-respecting buma, and they would flex from time to time, as >if to say "go ahead..give me a reason to tear your legs off, i'll >eat them for breakfast". MARTA: Legs! They're not just for breakfast anymore! > This Buma lacked most of the buma-like projections one >would expect to find on a buma, SHION: Like what? LING LING: You know... 'projections'. MARTA: So, is this a combat boomer or a sexroid? >it had smooth lines, the kind that look like they serve no >purpose other than to make the buma look really cool. SHION: Sort of like racing stripes and spoilers on most cars. MARTA: Or half the junk in Windows 98. >Which it did. If you didn't mind the glowing red eyes. LING LING: I think Visine will fix that. > "Damn." this from one of the walls you can't see. NORIKO: The walls can talk? MARTA: Why not? The walls have ears. > If you were too look really close, you might make out > a person-shaped blob of black, but would immediately > dismiss it as a hallucination, NORIKO: Much like I'm dismissing this story. > and go back to being afraid of the buma. but >you're not there. so you don't have to worry. LING LING: No, but we are reading this, so I am worried. > The human-shaped blob now begins moving toward the buma, >gradually growing in size as it approaches. You would, at this >point, re-evaluate your belief that it wasn't a human, because it >is now, clearly, a human. Not just any human. MARTA: AHHH!!! It's Brian J Mason!!! NORIKO: You don't know that! MARTA: Hey, I'm just trying to avoid the rush. LING LING: Besides, we know that *is* who it's going to be. >As it's features are highlighted by the red light cast from >the Buma, it appears that it is a female-type human. MARTA: Oops. >One of the real pretty ones. MARTA: Cool! Is she naked? >Wearing a lab coat (they always wear lab coats in cheesy scenes >like this). MARTA : Guess not. SHION: You're really jumping the gun today, aren't you? >She is not wearing glasses, though, as you might >expect from a corny set-up like this, LING LING: And what's wrong with wearing glasses? >and in her hands she is carrying a small device of some kind, MARTA: Her 'special' friend. >which she nonchalantly tosses at the buma. ALL: > "TARGET!" MARTA: ACQUIRED! SHION: FIRE! LING LING: PHOTON TORPEDO'S AWAY! NORIKO: You three need to lay off of those Star Trek movies. >is the resonant growl that utters from the buma as >it flashes into action. the buma takes one fluid step toward the >woman, and before you can remember that you are really afraid >that it is coming after you, SHION: - you're dead, the end. MARTA: So, what's on RAW? > it grabs the small item, and crushes >it in one fluidly steel gesture . As it atomizes, NORIKO: Atomizes? Some how I don't think that word means what you think it means, Mr. Hartung. SHION: Thank you, Inigo Montoya. >he quickly moves back to his position in the middle of the room. > His arm now rests by his side. MARTA: Significantly better than resting on the floor, let me tell you! > The woman does nothing for a few moments, as if surprised >by the buma's action. Her very pretty features then begin to >harden into an icy stare. ALL: Brrrrrr... > This is one of those icy stares that really makes you feel >chilly. LING LING: Yeah, I'm feeling colder already. MARTA: Yeah, I can tell. LING LING: Oh, really? MARTA : Sure, when it gets cold your nipples stand up something fierce. SHION : Oh, shit... LING LING : MARTA!!! [SCENE: Ling Ling starts throttling Marta. Noriko tries (and fails) not to laugh, while Shion gives her sister a 'you got yourself into this, you can get yourself out' look. After a few minutes of pandemonium (and a lot of grappling between Marta and Ling Ling that starts to push the PG-13 rating) order is restored.] SHION : Will you ever learn? MARTA : Urkk... > The kind that you have to practice in the mirror a lot, >just to begin to master. This stare would freeze hell, and not >even warm up, not even a little. Had you been asked to identify >the ten best icy stares that have ever been (assuming, of course >that you were an authority on such things), MARTA: Well, Noriko is. NORIKO: Hey! I am not. MARTA: Okay, my sister. SHION: What?!! LING LING: Marta, at this rate they are going to be taking you out of here in a basket. >you would not rank this one much lower than 5 or 6, tops. SHION: Are we reading a BGC fanfic or "The Princess Bride"? > "you were supposed to just catch it..." (you thought the >Stare was icy) LING LING: Is it just me, or is it cold in here? MARTA : It's... SHION : That's enough! MARTA: Eep... LING LING & NORIKO: Thank you. > "but no, you have to crush it." the woman was warming up, >but not the kind of warmth that is good, this a bad, bad, warmth. NORIKO : Bad warmth! Look what you did! EVERYONE ELSE : Err... > "oh, sure! atomize a transponder! like its a great threat >to your existence!" the buma, which was actually looking away, >stoically, glances in her direction for a moment, looking >sheepish ALL: Baah... baah... Baaaahhhh!!! >(for a buma) and then looking away, a little less stoically. > "you glow your red eyes, and flex your muscles, and posture >like a big, bad, powerful buma! act tough now! while you are safe >here! but what did you do when you faced 3 little buma-rifles? NORIKO: Is it just me, or has the writer decided to abandon capitals at the start of sentences? >I'LL TELL YOU! NORIKO: Oh, I see, he saved them all up for this one spot. >you practically oiled in your pants! i never saw a buma run >so fast!" the imposing buma now looks much less stoic, >and only a little ashamed. LING LING: How does a boomer look ashamed? SHION: How does a boomer look stoic? LING LING: Point. > "reaction times so fast they are practically >immeasurable, gun accuracies that make our best buma-sharp >shooters drool! next-generation super-armor, tri-strengthened >muscle fibers, ftl neural pathways, NORIKO: Run that by me again? FTL neural pathways? So he's going to get the information *before* he even sends it? >we even installed a full sensor package so you could see >to Spain through lead!" she was seething now, something >she evidently really knew how to do. her fists were in balls MARTA: Ow!!! >at her side MARTA: Oh... LING LING: Exactly what did you think that meant? MARTA: Uh... I - LING LING: Never mind, I'm better off *not* knowing! >as she bent forward. MARTA: Nice view. >she really seemed to know how to do this. SHION: Hey... maybe this *is* Noriko! NORIKO: That's *not* funny!!! > "you could have taken out those three easily! not that >those pitiful little guns could have done you any real damage! >you should have disarmed and neutralized those three before they >even realized they were dead!" LING LING: You are already dead. ALL: Wa-tak! > the buma raised a hand slightly, > as if to ward of her incessant attack. > The voice of the buma, SHION: Has been provided by Joe Pesci in a special guest appearence. LING LING: You talkin' to me? MARTA: What? Am I a clown, do I amuse you? >what little you have heard of it, is really, really scary. NORIKO: And what little I've read of this fanfic is really, really scary. >A deep, guttural sounding voice, SHION: Sort of like Barney on steroids. >with just enough reverberation to let you know that MARTA: - the guy at the sound board has screwed up again. >this is really a buma, and not just a nasty sounding buma look-alike. LING LING: Really? How can you tell? NORIKO: Just look for the union label. >This is the kind of voice that would silence a crowd instantly, MARTA: I've always prefered high explosives when it comes to silencing a crowd instantly. >it has the kind of presence you would normally expect from LING LING: A 500 point character? SHION: Me? NORIKO: You wish. MARTA: Batman. > a real important character, MARTA: Like - EVERYONE ELSE: Brian J Mason! MARTA: Well, excuse me for trying to make a joke. >"Umm.. ah, but.. I..." (this was the last thing you >expected to come from the Buma) SHION: Well, not if the Boomer is being played by Homer Simpson. NORIKO : Boomer Simpson, I like that. > The woman, not even paying attention, produces a clipboard >from seemingly nowhere. Pulling out a pen from her lab-coat, she >begins to write down notes, muttering to herself LING LING : Why I *ever* agreed to be in this *stupid* fanfic is beyond me! >as she stabs the pen at the clipboard. MARTA : Ouch! What did I ever do to you? > The woman, not even paying attention, produces a clipboard >from seemingly nowhere. Pulling out a pen from her lab-coat, she >begins to write down notes, muttering to herself as she stabs >the pen at the clipboard. SHION: What the hell? What is this? MAGIC VOICE: It's not my doing, it's in the story. NORIKO: Ohh... this is some *great* editing. >---Part II MARTA: Electric Boogaloo! > The woman, who was taking notes much in the way an calm, >efficient secretary wouldn't, turns her back on the Buma, SHION: Always as a bad move. >and begins waling LING LING: 'waling'? NORIKO: I think that is supposed to be 'walking'. LING LING: Oh, I thought she was going to totally loose it and start wailing. >into the blackness, her pen clik-claking MARTA: TOGG!!! LING LING: WA-TAK!!! >against the clipboard. > "Lights!" she yells to someone you can't see. MARTA: Camera! LING LING: Action! SHION: Roll 'em! > With an audible whump! the room is suddenly flooded with >light from previously unnoticed overhead florescent lights. MARTA: Ahhhhh!!! I'm blind!!! >The buma, who winced when the woman turned her back (at least, it MARTA : Shot down again. The Boomer really needs to work on a new pick-up line. >looks like it winced, actually, it sort of narrowed its eyes and >a wince-like way, after all its only a buma) has not changed >much at all, although you would find its red eyes a little less >disconcerting now. > Lining the walls is equipment of every description. MARTA: I thought the walls were black, featureless panels? SHION: That was in part one, this is part two, get with the program. >Its the kind of room that looks big empty, LING LING: And cluttered when full. Your point? > but when its full of equipment, seems exactly the right size. SHION: I see, this room is juuussstt right. MARTA: Right, not so small that you can't feel it and not so big that it hurts. EVERYONE: SHION: You're pushing the envelope on that one. >against the wall the buma is facing, a large terminal is NORIKO: Saying something about abort, retry, fail. >placed in front of a man who seems intent on what >the screen is displaying. MARTA: I see, he's found the jpeg archive. >one hand rests on LING LING: - his crotch. SHION: So, are we going to turn this into a lemon story? MARTA: Works for me. >a keypad of some sort, while the other one casually toys with >some device that looks like a cross between a screwdriver and a >toaster. NORIKO: Someone's been watching Dr. Who again... >He looks short, but that's hard to judge, as he is >sitting. You would guess him to be in his late 50's, he is also >wearing a lab coat, but it is a bit greyer, older, more well >worn, like an old shoe, except it's a lab coat. e has dirty brown >hair, which is all scraggly like it hasn't been attended to in a >while. LING LING: To sum up, he's a dirty old man. >In amongst the hair their appears to be a neural >interface, though its hard to say, it could just be an earring. NORIKO: Great, the guy writing this isn't too sure what's going on. > The woman walks toward him and shoves the clipboard in LING LING: - his crotch. SHION: Ow, that was harsh. MARTA: Works for me. >front of his face, "Look at this! SHION: Do these look fake? MARTA: Does this dress make me look fat? LING LING: Do Snickers really satisfy? NORIKO: Do you see how much we are getting paid to be in this story? >his main logic unit is so scrambled i >can't even access the higher functions to reset them!" SHION: So I'm going to blame it on Microsoft. > Looking up from the terminal, the man gives her one of those >looks you save for people who really annoy you, SHION: Noriko. NORIKO: Shion. MARTA: Takeda. >but she seems not to care. He grabs the clipboard, LING LING: - out of his crotch. SHION: What *is* it with you today? MARTA: Works for me. >looks at his screen for a few seconds and says, MARTA: There is *no* way those are real. >without turning his head, "yes, this is very >interesting, NORIKO: - now shut up. >but we have more pressing problems than your little >buma experiment." > "little experiment!? MARTA: Why does it always come down to a matter of size? >i'll have you know the improvements i have made..." LING LING: Cost a fortune! When do I get a refund? > "..didn't work" finishes the man, his tone of voice grows SHION : I'm huge! >in authority, "all it did was pick up its robotic ass and run away" LING LING & MARTA : "Brave Sir Boomer, he ran away, he ran away!" SHION : I did not! LING LING & MARTA : "When danger reared its ugly head he bravely picked up his robotic ass and fled!" SHION : Be quiet! LING LING & MARTA : "Brave, brave, brave... Sir Boomer!" NORIKO: Words fail me. > "why you..i should.. this.. it..". she is turning a very nasty shade of red now, MARTA : Sort of like my sister when she doesn't get her way. SHION : Or Ling Ling, every time you make lewd comment about her breasts. LING LING: Oh, leave me out of this. >the kind of red you might paint a nuclear bomb, >to let people know they should stay the hell away. >Although she is sputtering now, NORIKO: - any moment that fuse is going to catch and she'll detontate. >you would expect her to be >yelling very soon, and very loud. MARTA: I guess that means she's had an orgasm? > "now, don't start, Beth, you know that doesn't work with >me.." he says, holding up a hand, while putting down the gizmo he >was just holding. > She does not look like she wants to stop, she looks like she >wants to have a good tirade, which she does. SHION: The Noriko school of management. NORIKO: Shut up! > while she is yelling unbelievably creative curses, unnoticed >by the two of them the buma in the middle of the room has been >thinking to itself. LING LING: Why am I in this fanfic? > This is evidenced by the expressions on its face. At first, >it simply hung its head in shame, MARTA: I am filled with shame. >its processors trying desperately to figure out what went wrong, SHION: There's the problem! This boomer has Intel Inside! >why it retreated when his combat reflexes had informed it >of at least 5 different ways to disarm and disable the threat. >Why it had aborted its SHION: -next phase. >mission on the basis of being faced NORIKO: -by AIC and Youmex's lawyers. > by 3 simple buma rifles... Though its body posture did not change, > other than the occasional impressive muscle-ripple, SHION: This would be a lot more interesting if this was Dark Schneider. >its head did slowly come up, and the eyes glowed a >bit brighter then they had before. LING LING: I'm almost expeecting a lightbulb to appear over its head. > A conclusion was being formed, one that was being rejected by >most of the base Genom-programming, that was contrary to its >entire reason for existence. NORIKO: To die messily at the hands of the Knight Sabers? SHION: Either that or to slaughter the AD Police in droves. > A decision had been reached, and before the woman had time to >finish yelling her best yell, MARTA: That settles it, she's a screamer. >the buma walked out of the room. NORIKO: Obviously, the boomer is as fed up with this fic as we are. > The buma, which had the entire floor plan in his memory >banks, had no trouble at all in locating the exit. SHION: Time: 25:00, Kills: 97%, Secrets: 80%. MARTA: Damn! I always miss one! > Several internal security cameras registered his presents, but he simply >disabled these with his built-in security override/scrambler >unit (tm). NORIKO: Of course he did. LING LING: Well... isn't *that* special. > you can imagine the surprise of the people waiting for the >bus when a Buma emerged from a dry-cleaning store and patiently >stood in line. Needless to say, they were a little nervous, all >save one particular red-haired girl, who was downright, well, MARTA: Scared shitless? >intrigued.. MARTA: Oh... NORIKO: Well, that was a big waste of time. SHION: I'm not sure if this was meant to be a parody, satire or just one giant in-joke. NORIKO: I think if the author had concentrated more on the story and less on overly cute asides it would have worked a lot better. LING LING: I really wish people would stop using 'buma' it sounds stupid. SHION: That's like wishing for people to stop writing bad fan fiction. LING LING: Good point. MARTA: And let me guess, there is more to this? MAGIC VOICE: Yes. ALL: MARTA: Can we go now? MAGIC VOICE: Yes. MARTA: See ya. LING LING : Not so fast. You're coming with me! I'll teach *you* to make comments about me like that! MARTA: Owwwww.... [SCENE: Ling Ling drags Marta out of the room.] SHION: I warned her, but nooo... NORIKO: Till next time, ja ne. SHION: Whatever. \ / \ / -- O -- FFIIIIISSHHHH / \ / \ SHION: Psst... Logan Darklighter? I really like my portrait! "Relucatant Buma" written by Geoffrey "Curt" Hartung. No copyright infringement indended by this MSTing, which is for amusement purposes only. Shion Nys & Marta Nys (c) 1997 Michael Surbrook Noriko Kobayashi created by Jeff Mueller, used with permission. Ling Ling Li Copyright (c) 1987-97 by Yuzo Takada. This version was used without permission. MSTed by Michael Surbrook susano@otd.com Visit Surbrook's Stuff! A Hero System/Champions source (especially for anime and manga material) at http://www.otd.com/~susano/index.html >"Umm.. ah, but.. I..." (this was the last thing you >expected to come from the Buma)