[SCENE: A dimly lit room. There is a large plush couch, a big screen TV and a VCR. Shion is sitting on the couch, dressed in her black jumpsuit, white clamshell armor and grey cloak. She is looking though a catalog. We can barely make out the letters VICTO and SECR on the cover.] SHION: Oohh... that's nice... and I like that one... and that's nice... I wonder what Takeda would say if I wore *that*? What am I saying? He's pass out from blood loss... [There is a knock at the door.] SHION : Enh? Uh... it's open!!! [SCENE: A squadron of blue-clad, lump-like men run in and dump a tan-skinned, busty young woman on the ground, along with a tiny anthromorphic mouse.] VULTURE TROOPER: And that's for being a Commie! [The squad leaves] URD : Owww... GADGET: That wasn't so bad. URD: Shut up. SHION: Ahem... um, are you Urd? I mean, *the* Urd? GADGET: Actually no, she comes in a handy six-pack. URD: Stow it, mouse. SHION: Hmm... I expected someone taller. URD: *grumbles* [There is a knock at the door.] SHION: Another one? [SCENE: A powerfully built man standing about 6'10" enters. He has extremely pale skin, long reddish-brown hair, a goatee, and is dressed in all black casual clothing. His expression is perfectly neutral, almost always stays so, and he has a very deep, gravelly voice.] SHION : Hello! And you are? MARK: Hello. My name is Mark Calloway, perhaps known better to you as the professional wrestler Undertaker. I've spent the last few weeks trapped on a satellite, being forced to read incredibly bad internet postings along with several other wrestlers. Due to the fact Vince McMahon is an ASS who can't properly operate his own teleportation device, an experiment in seeing how many teleports it takes to induce vomiting has ended with me being stranded here. Sadly, I have absolutely no idea where the hell I am, and I was wondering if you could be of some assistance. SHION : Assistance? Of course... I'll be happy to... assist you any way I can. As to where you are, this is Neo York, and you're at the Kazei 5 fan-fiction review center. MARK : So I'm going to end up reading yet another bad fanfic? SHION: Yes... and offering your comments and criticisms, of course. MARK [scowling]: Wonderful. Just wonderful. Do you at least have any Nehi here? Vince wouldn't send any up to the Satellite. SHION : I'm sure you can check the fridge. URD : Who is it? SHION : No one you need to worry about! [SCENE: Mark leaves and treads back into the room with a strawberry Nehi and a box of Pepperidge Farm Milanos. He sits down on the couch, awaiting his doom] GADGET: MARK: Something wrong, ma'am? GADGET: I could take you. ALL OTHERS: MARK: Thanks, mouse.. I needed that. MAGIC VOICE: We have movie sign. [The TV turns on] DARK DAWN MiSTed by Michael Surbrook, Alicia Ashby and Rev. Ezekiel Wadd with Gadget Hackwrench, Mark Calloway (a.k.a the Undertaker), Shion Nys and Urd > DARK DAWN GADGET: I'll redo "From Dusk 'til Dawn" right, or my name isn't Edward Wood! > Prologue to Armageddon Prophecy > by: MARK: John the Baptist. > by: Pyrous "PyroDrac@aol.com" SHION: 'PyroDrac'? A flaming vampire? That's just stupid. GADGET: Well, he's on AOL. SHION: Yes... that went without saying, didn't it? MARK: Kefka's on AOL as well... SHION: And so is Gonterman... URD: I sense a conspiracy. GADGET: Hey, now.. never attribute to conspiracy what can be well-explained by stupidity. > "Welcome Kento, I see you have come as I've asked," GADGET: Not a word. URD: MARK: David Kintobor's in this?! Damn, damn, DAMN! SHION: Oh god, I hope not... >said a dark figure in the shadows. SHION: Dark Schneider? MARK: It's definitely not Sting. URD: Barnabas Collins? MARK: If it's me, I'll be hurting someone in the near future. >He stood behind a pedestal and gazed down at the lowly ronin GADGET: Oh, the redundancies. MARK: Huh? Explain. Seemed like a decent phrase to me... GADGET: Well, 'ronin', or a masterless samurai, is a dishonorable place in Japanese society. SHION: Not according to about every manga ever written. URD: I thought ronin meant 'wave man'. MARK: All right, he's a surfer boy. Let's move on. >at the base of the pedestal. The room was exceedingly MARK: It was being written by Garth Ennis. >dark and the room was full of SHION: Redundancies. >cloaked figures. He looked up as if to speak. MARK: But he really wanted... to *SING!* ALL: He's a lumberjack and he's OK... >"Silence mortal!!!" ALL: Nii! >The cloaked figure at the pedestal cried. GADGET: I'm cryingg.. I'm cryyyyyyyyy.. I'm cryin'. > A figure emerged from the shadows, "All new members are >allowed to ask three question. URD : Is very tragic story of Freemason drown in spring two summer ago. >Any insubordination will be punished. GADGET: Und you vill, be, SHOT! >Ask your questions now," SHION: Okay... What's your quest? What's your favorite color? Which is larger: My bust size or Urd's? URD: Uh.. an African swallow! I... Wait a minute... 36C! SHION : 38 C. MARK: Ooh, not bad. SHION & URD: Thank you. GADGET: I miss Alpha Complex. >the shadow remarks. GADGET: And why? Because the Sha- URD and SHION: (in harmony) No. > "I do have one. Why are you guys wearing mouse ears and bras >on your heads?" MARK: Why not? All Others: GADGET: Well, crap, it looks like Mike Eisner's spreading his empire again. MARK: And exactly why would *you* be complaining about that? GADGET: Uh.. because I haven't had any work in FIVE EFFING YEARS?! MARK: Ever consider wrestling? GADGET: Hmm.. > "That is insubordination, no more questions today. You now > have your first task, bring use five non frat members, and SHION: - a shrubbery! URD: -no soup for you! >none of those other three friends of yours," GADGET: The father, son and the holy ghost.. they caught the last train for the coast, the day.. the muuusic, died. >the cloaked man stood there speaking now went into convulsive >laughter, MARK : I'm sorry, it's just that you've got some toilet paper stuck to your foot, and that always *kills* me! SHION : Well, I see you're easy to amuse. MARK: : Exceptionally. I'd hate to see what you'd think of Nash... URD: Huh huh.. you said 'toilet'. SHION : What about you, little mouse? GADGET: I long for death's cool embrace. SHION: I can understand why.. MARK : I can take care of that for you, if you want... GADGET: Um... no thanks. >"Member Beta Zeta, observe his test and make sure he does >his own dirty work for once." GADGET: Yes, Steve. >_________________________________________________________ >_____________________ SHION: It's dead, Jim. >There was a smell of grease and fast food filled the air SHION: Whoa! Out of control scene change! MARK: Looks like "Animal House", now. >like a foul perfume. GADGET: Urd... URD: Oh, bite me. SHION: My sister would. URD: Oh, really? SHION: Yes, sleeping with you is one of her greatest fantasies. MARK: Can I watch? URD: >The smell gave way through the double doors MARK: The sheriff had finally decided to get that foul smell out of his town, and started by throwing it out of the saloon. >as the smell was then matched with that of cheap perfume. URD: ... >The lights of signs stood glowing like hypnotic >beckons. MARK : You *will* eat at Joe's. You WILL eat at Joe's... GADGET: Resistance is futile. Would you like to up-size? >Signs of sales broke the almost alien atmosphere of the brightly >lit mall. GADGET: ...Okay, that one didn't parse. MARK : Glidzeema! They're having a sale on frooglesnorps at Schlizzenoff! URD: Really?! How much off? SHION : He's cracked already? MARK: See, 'alien atmosphere'... [sighs] Why do I even bother? >Serena looked around at the glorious shops and stores that all were >baring signs of sales. SHION: And suddenly we're in Chippendales! URD: Yeah!!! ^_^ MARK: Ugh. SHION: Oohh... I want *that* one! URD: Dance, too much booty in the pants! GADGET: ... I miss Alpha Complex. >"Amy why did you have to drag us to a chess match >today?" Serena asked Amy quietly. MARK : I need someone in my corner just in case there's a run-in! Now did you bring the brass knuckles? >"Come on Serena, she needs our support. SHION: Yeah, right... I've seen pictures of the Sailor Scouts. They need a Wonderbra about as much as Urd and I do. >She is going against the reigning MARK : ... TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WOOOOOORLD... SHION : Oww... >champion of the city, two years in a row," Mina Remarked. GADGET: Deduction tells us that she must not have won. >The group comes to a large open area, in the center sits a single >chessboard MARK: And 4 orcs. URD: I cast Magic Missile on the biggest one! SHION : I use *this* slot at full power! GADGET: I throw a grenade. MARK: I throw lightning at it! No, wait, I do the Tombstone! No, wait... er, pass? I was never good at these games... >in which crowds of people are around. Banners are >hang about that read "CHESS URD: The final frontier. >CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH TODAY" >"Rei, do you remember my opponents name?" Amy asked. SHION : Dunno, I think it's Deep Blue or something silly like that. > "One Rowen Hashiba of Shin-sha University."Rei >Answered, "Don't worry you can beat Frat boy there." MARK : In fact, don't take your opponent seriously at all. GADGET: Rowan?! Oh no, it's Bean! She's doomed. SHION: She's playing chess against Blackadder? This should be good. >_________________________________________________________ MARK: Roads are clear. >A group of sinister figures stand in watch as part of the crowd. URD: Oh, hey, it's the Brain Guys! MARK: Oooh! Maybe they'll sing! SHION: Exactly how are they 'sinister'? >They look at each other as if they have something to do in recent >time to come. MARK: You guys have to go take a crap, too? SHION: My sister would have made the writer pay for a line like that. >"Darkwolf," URD: -said one of them, "God, that would be a stupid name." SHION: I see we have reached the realm of bad fantasy names. Thank you TSR. MARK: Now, there were bad fantasy names long before TSR. Why, just look at any Terry Brooks novel! 'Shannara', my ass! SHION: Sorry, TSR predates "The Sword of Shannara" by about two years. > One says with a caw like a bird to his voice, "You think that GADGET: AAAAHHH!! It's a furry story! Retreat to the Volga! SHION: If there's a Firefox - MARK: Don't you mean 'Foxfire'? SHION: -whatever, I'm leaving. MARK: Myself, I'll be happy as long as no one rapes a family member. URD: Look, it's not *my* fault that me and Bell.. ALL OTHERS: SHION : Yes? URD: Uh.. never mind. >the people we are looking for are going to come here to a teenage >chess tournament. You must be crazy. SHION: You are only *now* figuring that out? > We are looking for great heros, not little kiddies." URD: That's my job! >"Shut up Grayhawk, your mouth seems never to shut. MARK: And your D&D campaign sucks, too. SHION: Oh... that's telling him! >I'm sure, in fact two of the people we're looking for are in this match," MARK: So split up and start looking for Bobby Fisher. >the one named Darkwolf answered with a growl to his voice. URD: Originality has no place in a story like this I see... >"Rampage don't care as long as Rampage get to beat something," Mark: Ah, so Rampage is much like Ken Shamrock. >A rather large and barbaric looking man said rather primitively. >"Shut up!" Grayhawk and Darkwolf cried in unison. SHION: I couldn't have said it better myself... GADGET: I think I could use a good cry... >________________________________________________________ >Two college student MARK : She my sister! Choppy-choppy your pee-pee!! URD: ...the hell? SHION: I told he'd cracked. > come to the open area of the mall >but at the upper level. >They look down at the crowd MARK : Foul plebians! I mock them and all they represent! > and at the young girl >taking a set at the black side of the chessboard. MARK : You will join the Dark Side of the Chess Board... >"Pretty cocky opponent a Rowen,"Sage remarks. >"Pretty yes, cocky no. I won last time on the white side so now I'm stuck >as white," Rowen answers. SHION: Further proof that The Man is always trying to beat us down! URD: Word up. GADGET: My bad! >"So I think you may be giving someone your number. >Aren't you?" Sage looks at him doe eyed, in a mocking fashion. MARK : They's purty lil' thangs, but ya gotta thin 'em out for their own good. Now I'll just unleash mah trusty coon dog Betsy, here, and we'll be havin' venison fer supper tomorrow! SHION: You worry me. >"Ummm......Look there's Kento and Cye, lets go say hello," >Rowen answered just barley dodging the question. MARK: But the next time, he wasn't so lucky, and the question hit him right in the eye. >They looked down at the crowd of people and sure enough >there was Cye and Kento. MARK : Yeah, Agar-rant your way out of this one, fox boy! It's time to make chunky Avatar spaghetti! BWAHAHAHA! [mimes throwing grenade] GADGET: Me first. > They walked toward the escalator >only for a moment when over the loud speaker SHION : Attention, you are all stuck in this story for the duraction. Deal. GADGET: Adapt, expand, or die. Oh, and bite me. >"Rowen Hashiba please make your way over to the tournament board in >five minutes or you forfeit." MARK: Figure-forfeit? SHION: MARK: Hey, I'm a wrestler.. I'm allowed to say something dumb now and then. >"Lets move it or your title goes to a high school student," Sage says to >his buddy in a frenzy. SHION: I never knew chess got men so hot... I must have missed that somewhere. URD: So did I.. MARK: The chess player is a calm and rational creature. Until it smells blood. GADGET: Get the bastard, Ami.. >"Your right. To the chessboard!" MARK: To the Batcave! >Rowen says in his light Aussie accent. SHION: Is it just me, or does that sound like a salad dressing? >They race down the escalator to the chessboard and Rowen takes his set in >a record twenty-five seconds. MARK: Right there in front of everyone? Disgusting! > Sage went to the crowd and stood next to his >friends Kento and Cye. MARK: I will now pray for a Team Foxfire run-in. URD: Go ahead, dearie. > "Cye where is Ryo?"Sage questioned quietly for the >match had just started. >"He's out with Mia somewhere. They'll be here just in time for SHION: -us to be leaving? >Rowen's famous death blow," MARK : It's a brainbuster from the top turnbuckle! It's so cool! > Cye remarks at the question asked by Sage. GADGET: I see the redundant prose virus is getting worse. >"So you to are friend of the champion nice to meet you," >Mina says to Sage and the rest. SHION : I will be your opponent. I will defeat you. You cannot beat me. Hahahaha. >"Mina. What are you doing bothering them when their friend >is losing,"Rei remarked smartly. SHION: I see... now we are in a Tom Swift story. MARK: Hey, maybe somebody'll be *jaunty* soon! >"What? Rowen what do you think your doing, She's killing you," >Sage mutters aloud. MARK : Look, it's not my fault they wouldn't let me play 'jump your own man'! >After some time Sage is on the ground in tears. SHION: Obviosuly, Rowen got tired of hearing Sage bitch and hit him where it counts. MARK: Thank you, Jesus! URD: I hath been forsaken! You're all betting on the Devil, now. MARK: Well, sorry, Lord.. but he does have a couple pounds on you. >Rowen is continuing to lose to Amy. The match looked sealed and it was. URD : "Signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours!" >"What the heck is he doing?" Ryo asked ALL: Losing. >as he enters the group of low spirited ronins and high spirited school >girls. SHION: Ahem... what? That sounds like the title of a Traffic album. MARK: Well, I'd *have* to be high, to wear one of those damn sailor suits. GADGET: They're not *that* bad.. MARK & SHION: GADGET: What? >"He's throwing the match," Sage said in a pool of tears, >"I betted on Rowen against the rest of the ferturnity." SHION: A word to the wise... never 'betted' all your money and never belong to a 'ferturnity'. MARK: Oh mighty Demeter, goddess of ferturnity... >"Check,"Amy said playfully. >"You mean Check-Mate,"Rowen corrected also in a playful manner. URD: I think I'm going to vomit. GADGET: I think the Pink boy is trying to initate mating procedures.. dumbass. *giggles* >"Your right,"Amy said as a roar came from the crowd MARK: Thunder... thunder... Thundercats, HOOOO! >and the sound of sobbing came from Sage. The two shock hands and went to >their friends. URD : Can we have sex now? SHION : Sure! URD : Cool! SHION : Wrong! I'm *not* my sister! [Mark lets out a small groan of disappointment] >The great moment was broken by a shrill scream from the crowd. MARK : Someone must have found out that this is only the prologue. >"What was that?"Rowen and Amy cried at the same time. ALL: A SCREAM, STUPID!!! >The crowd cleared to reveal three men standing there in full armor that >resembled animals. SHION : Friends of yours? MARK: No, the animal thing went out in the 80's, and WCW gave up on the whole 'Blood Runs Cold' thing. URD: That went over my head.. GADGET: Be happy. >"Welcome to a new championship, one between you ten and us. >We are the new dark warlords,"One said, MARK: When the old dark warlords died, thus were born the New Dark Warlords! GADGET: Makes sense. >He appeared to be in armor that looked like that of a vulture. MARK: So he was wearing feathers? >"Shut up you over dramatic fool,"Another said, he appeared to be in >wolf like armor, "I am Darkwolf, the over dramatic fool GADGET: Hey, at least he's honest. > as I called him is Grayhawk, and the simpleton is Rampage." MARK: Well, I was under the impression that it was Jim Duggan, but whatever you say... >"Rampage not simple!!"Rampage screamed, Grayhawk grabbed him at URD: Hoho! >the midriff of his rhino armor. URD: Damn... MARK: Thank you. >"Save it," Darkwolf said calmly. >Suddenly another shrill voice filled the air, "A-ko look, Puppies!!!" ALL: Aaggghhhh!!! MARK: No! Not the shrieking she-beast! GADGET: Oh, no, save me from the little puppy-dog children, PLEASE! >A young blonde teen-age girl SHION: The jury is still out on that one... >goes running through the armored warriors >standing ready for battle. As she runs she knocks over >Rampage and forces Grayhawk to let go. MARK : Stay alive! Whatever may occur, I will find you! >She runs over to a pet store and picks up a small puppy. >"C-ko watch out!" a red haired girl shouts running after the little girl. MARK: If A-ko is here, why would you need anyone else? >"That distracted them, ready guys?" Ryo shouts to the others. >"Wait what did he mean by ten of use?" Kento added. SHION: 10 of use? Is that the D&D version of 7 of 9? URD: I'd like to use 7 or 9 for a while.. *purrs* >Suddenly Serena leaped up and yelled, "Moon Prism Power!!!" MARK: UNDERTAKER DEATH LIGHTNING POWER!! SHION: PSYCHOKINETIC CYBERPUNK EMPRESS POWER!! URD: SEXY UNINHIBITED LUST GODDESS POWER!! GADGET: BOATER QUARK, MA- ALL OTHERS: NO!!! GADGET: Eep. >"Shot, what does little missy there think she's doing?" GADGET: Getting ready to kick some serious ass? SHION: Serena? Get real. > Sage laughs as he gets out of a small puddle of tears. >"I think we've met our match guys," Ryo adds in, >"Now guys take'em. SHION : Woo whooo! Orgy with the Sailor Scouts! What am I saying? URD: Mmmm.. senshi... gaahhh... MARK : Nah, let's fuck with 'em first. GADGET: Do we hafta? Rampage need go poo-poo. >Here's your armor orbs." >All the guys take the armor orbs and ready them >for the big battle. They throw their orbs into the air MARK: It was like they just didn't care. >and jump into the light of them. "Armor of the wildfire, DAO JIN!!!!" SHION: Okay... someone please tell me who these idiots are. >Suddenly, where was five college students stood, >now stand five battle ready samurai. MARK: ... in the five college students' bloody entrails. SHION: Well, that was a nice one-sentence promotion. GADGET: Marrissa would be proud. >"Hey Kento look at the little school girls," Cye said pointing in the >direction of Serena and the other four girls. >"I think I'm in love,"Kento replied looking wide eyed at the girls. MARK: Lovely. More kiddy hentai. >"This is so degrading," Rei said with her head in her hands. SHION: You strip naked to change into your costume and you call getting ogled by some guys 'degrading'? Get real. MARK: I hear Rei's head makes a killer volleyball. >"Not to interrupt the party but can you please help here!" >The red-haired girl shouts at the ten warriors. MARK: No way. A-ko would crush these lame-o's like the Amazonian goddess she is. SHION: She'd go through them almost as fast I would. >"She's right people we should help that little girl," >Lika shouts to the rest. MARK: Oh, Lika! She's Sailor Jupiker! >"Your right Lika, you guys have to stop gawking at us >and get to battle," Rei shouts at the ronins looking them, >then suddenly the ronins looked down and SHION: Weren't they just 'samurai'? MARK: Spot demotion! GADGET: Yay! >were apologizing for their actions, then Rei just about had it, >"GUYS GET THE LEAD OUT!!!" SHION: Robert Plant? >"She's right you know. Lets teach these guys whose boss," >Ryo shoots at the ronins. GADGET: Killing them all, the end. URD: Ooooh, Dark Mousie. MARK: So, what's on Raw? SHION: Who cares? As long as it's not this story. >"Oh now ant that just quant. AAAAAHHHHHH....LIGHTNING >STARS!!!!!"Grayhawk >screams at the top of his lungs, MARK: Poor Grayhawk felt unimaginable pain as the vengeful Lightning Stars roasted the flesh from his bones. To this day, they have yet to answer for their terrible crime. >then a thousand Sparks fill the air as the >warrior appears to toss them. MARK: But he's actually crocheting them! >"It must be a trick," Sage screams as the stars hurdle toward them. SHION: This guy jumps into a glowing orb to put on armor and thinks *this* is a trick? He's not to bright is he? >He looks in his sword and sees a thousand stars headed >toward them, " It's not, DUCK!!!" MARK: Darkwing? Howard? Mousse? >At the same time over at the pet store Rampage is URD: - having lunch. Hmm... tastes like chicken! GADGET: The horror.. SHION: Hmmm? URD: Pet shop. Mouse. Rampage. Do the math. >closing in on the little girl. She is screaming holding a puppy >and backing into a corner. >"Rampage smash, Rampage bash, Rampage... URD: Hulk smash! Hulk smash! MARK: Rampage julienne fry! >puppy, Rampage like puppy," Rampage said holding out his >hands reaching for the small dog, MARK: However, Rampage does not like the puppy in a natural way, ifyouknowwhatImean! > when suddenly the red-haired >girl appears and punches him in the gut. GADGET: That'll leave a mark. >"That's for trying to hurt my friend!!" >She screams at the writhing mass below her. MARK: No! Rampage has become... Dusty Rhodes! >"Thank you A-ko!!"The little girl shouts in joy, then hugs her. >"Thanks C-ko." >Back out in the forum the group has it's hands full >dodging thousands of stars. GADGET: Really? Let's see... one, two, three, four... URD: Stow it, furball. MARK: They were okay until the Baldwin family came running at them, and after that they got nailed by Hanson... >Rei, Lika, Cye and Sage had jumped up to the next level SHION: You've found the secret area! >to divert his fire. Serena, Ryo, Kento, Mina, Amy, and Rowen >where ready to fight back when a voice came from Serena's bag, MARK: Let me out! Let me out! >"Serena, you and your new friends must combine >powers. MARK : By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet! SHION: Please, have *some* sense of decency. > Amy and the dark blue one shout MERCURY ARROW >at the same time." A small cat had been giving them directions. >"Why should I listen to a talking cat," Rowen said, "I should have laid > off the sokie last night." SHION & URD: 'Sokie'? URD: That's 'sake', you numbskull!!! MARK: Sokie-sokie your pee-pee!! >"I'm no alcohol induced illusion,"The cat snapped, GADGET: That's gotta hurt! >"It's your only hope at this point." SHION: I thought Obi-wan Kenobi was our only hope. >"Okay, I'll do it, just let get my bow ready," Rowen mumbled. >"MERCURY ARROW!!!!" The two shout in unison and >an arrow is shot from Rowen's bow trailed by a line of bubbles. MARK: Scrubbing bubbles! Scrubbing bubbles! >It hits Grayhawk and he freezes in place. >Darkwolf has his head berried in his hands. MARK: Blue, black, or straw? >"You may have bested those idiots, but we'll meet again >and the odds will be in our favor. SHOT, that idiots mellow SHION: Shot? What is this? Gonterman and his use of 'phracking'? MARK: You know, I think phracking was what I missed most on the Satellite. GADGET: Eww. >dramatic attitude is rubbing off on me," >He and the rest of the evil warriors disappear. URD: All one of them. >"That was easy," Ryo said. MARK: Of course, you're the heroes. >"Well there are ten of us.." Kento starts but is interrupted. >"You mean eleven," The red-haired girl said, "The names A-ko >and this is C-ko." GADGET: Make that eleven and one half... >"Hi, I'm C-ko and I'm glad to meet you!!" The little girl shouts loudly. MARK: Wow... he actually got one character right... URD: It's not hard with her... >"I'm Mina and I'm glad to meet you, too," Mina says, >"This is Lika, Serena, Amy, and this little jewel of personality is Rei." >"Nice to meet you." >"Hello." >"Hi." MARK: Well, I say all of you can go to HELL!! GADGET: No one will be admitted during the dramatic 'introductions' scene! >"Swell," Rei says standing there looking in another direction SHION: Hmm... I'm beginning to like her. >"I'm Ryo of the wildfire,"Ryo says to the rest of the people. >"I'm Rowen of the Strata." >"I'm Kento of Hardrock." >"Sage of the Halo." >"And I'm Cye of the Torrent." GADGET: I'm Gadget of the Hollowed-out Ranger Tree! MARK: I'm Mark of Dark Side! URD: I'm Urd of the Unrestrained Libido! SHION: I'm Shion and I'm Slowly Dying of a Knife in my Back! >At this point Rei is staring at Ryo, at that moment Mia came out URD: The closet. >of a near by store with several bags in her hands. >She came over to the chess area totally >oblivious to what had just happened. MARK: I admire the mystery woman's spirit, but ignoring the fanfic won't make it go away. >She takes one glace at Ryo in his armor and drops her bags. >"Ryo what happened here and who are these, and why are >you guys wearing your armors?" Mia Question GADGET: What sort of name is *that*? >in sort of a puzzled fashion. >"Mia,"Ryo said quietly at Mia, "Excuse me Mia, did you miss the battle?" MARK: I'm sorry, ma'am, but our next battle isn't until ten-thirty. >"There was a fight? Ryo are you hurt? Fill me in later Ryo let's go," >Mia said very quickly as she dragged him out the door. URD: Mia wants it *now*! >At that point everyone returned to normal. MARK: Says who? >"We'll all meet tomorrow, you seven should go home >your parents must be worried," Sage says pointing to the door. >"We should. So long, till tomorrow," Serena said as she >walked toward the exit. MARK : Geez, I thought I'd never get out of there... > As they leave Amy noticed a small >piece of paper in her hands. She read what it said. URD: For a good time call 1-800-SAILOR-LEMON >It read "Call me" and had a phone number. SHION: Same thing. >Amy ran to catch up with her friends with the paper up against her chest. MARK: Lucky paper. >"Tenchi, I knew we missed some thing. SHION: Aim lower. >I Remember those people that just past use from some where," >Said a girl that looked to be seventeen with hair that looks like it was >done by Sonic the Hedgehog. MARK: Sonic... [eyes glaze] Sooooniiiiic... DAMN YOU, KEFKA! IS THERE ANY CHARACTER THAT BASTARD WON'T DEFLOWER? ARGH!! [begins weeping] SHION : There, there, I won't let that strange little creature harm you. >"Your right Ryoko. But can't today be a normal day for once," >said a young man. >The girl looked at him and smiled. "Your right, lets go," the girl said >but she knew this was an omen of things to come. GADGET: They were stuck in a horrid multi crossover with no exit in sight. [The TV turns off] SHION: *That* has to be the biggest incoherent mess since... since... Akanes Deleryium! I mean, exactly how many series did this guy decide to include? Five, six? Why? URD: I'd say he was on crack. But then, I'm not going to insult my own invention like that. MARK: Hmmm... well, we don't often analyze the posts we get on the Satellite. We usually just revile them. But this time, I found that I couldn't. URD: Why in Nifleheim not? MARK: Well... the fic was not well-written, but I've seen far worse. It was mostly just a large collection of bad crossover cliches. More laughable than really painful. Actually, riffing these things is kind of fun when a psychotic promoter isn't forcing you to do it. GADGET: You have a strange idea of 'fun'. MARK: I fake beating people up for a living. What do you expect? Anyway, I suppose I'll be here for some time... where am I going to stay? SHION: Stay? Why, you can stay with me, of course. I have a very nice apartment right here in Neo-York. MARK : Thank you, God. [The TVturns on, showing a familiar face...] VINCE: I don't think so, Vampire Warrior!! It was bad enough when Captain Canuck got a woman... it's *not* going to happen again! Rocky...? MARK: Vince?! No, damn you! I'm going to not sleep at Shion's apartment tonight! Don't you *dare*... [SCENE: Mark is interrupted as, in a flash of bluish light, he is ripped out of that dimension and, presumably, back to his own.] VINCE: Sorry about that. Have a nice day, ladies. SHION : Nice day?!!! Bring him back you son of a bitch!!! [The TV turn back off.] URD: Well, there's just one thing left to do. GADGET: Disco? URD: Yup. SHION : Count me out. [SCENE: The midi for Disco Inferno from Afterlife comes on, and Urd and Gadget proceed to shake their booty.] \ / \ / -- O -- FFIIIIISSHHHH / \ / \ SHION: Why is it my sister is the only one gets any in these stories? "Dark Dawn" written by Pyrous. No copyright infringement intended by this MSTing, which is for amusement purposes only. Gadget Hackwrench (c) The Walt Disney Company Mark Calloway (c) Titan Sports and Mark Calloway Shion Nys (c) 1997 Michael Surbrook Urd (c) 1998 Fujishima Kousuke MSTed by Alicia Ashby lynxara@hotmail.com Rev. Ezekiel Wadd reverend_wadd@geocities.com Michael Surbrook susano@otd.com Visit Surbrook's Stuff! A Hero System/Champions source (especially for anime and manga material) at http://www.otd.com/~susano/index.html >Suddenly another shrill voice filled the air, "A-ko look, Puppies!!!"