[SCENE: A dimly lit room. There is a large plush couch, a big screen TV and a VCR. The door opens and in walk Ling Ling Li, Marta Nys, Shion Nys and Noriko Kobayashi. The seat themselves on the couch; order L-R of Shion, Marta, Ling Ling and Noriko.] MARTA : Whoa, I expected this place to be a shambles. SHION: And what is *that* supposed to mean? NORIKO: Well, you were quite angry when we left last time, remember? SHION: Ugh... Gonterman... thanks for reminding me. NORIKO: Anytime MAGIC VOICE: If I may interrupt, you have a letter. NORIKO: Who from? MAGIC VOICE: Alex Fauth LING LING: Australia? We've got fan mail from Australia? NORIKO: Well, put it up on screen then.. [SCENE: The TV switches on and text appears] Greetings. First up, I just want to say that I love your work in the MSTings department, especially the format you've chosen. MARTA : Who's he talking to? SHION: Will you be quiet! Secondly, I need to ask you something. I'm planning to start MSTings of my own, and I want to know if I can use a similar format, with my own characters. It would mean a lot if you said yes. SHION: I don't see why not. NORIKO: It's okay with me. MARTA: Why is he asking us instead of Michael? LING LING: I think he is asking Michael. Thanks muchly. Jinas NORIKO: Jinas? PS: Marta rules! MARTA: YES! Yes, yes, yes, yes!!! SHION: Great, now she's going to be smug and insufferable for the rest of the day. BOBA FETTS SEARCH FOR THE SEVEN DRAGON BALLS MiSTed by Michael Surbrook with Noriko Kobayashi, Ling Ling Li, Marta Nys and Shion Nys > Boba Fetts Search for the Seven Dragon Balls MARTA: Film at Eleven. SHION: Fetts? Like there's more than one? LING LING: Maybe there's one for each Dragonball? > written by Russell. NORIKO: What? No last name? SHION: He probably prefers to remain anonymous. > After robbing the Rebel base of a disk, Boba Fett is racing through space MARTA: Jane! Stop this crazy thing! > trying to knock off several X-Wings. The disk Boba Fett has information for > a serum that can increase eye sight, muscle, and a extra lung NORIKO: Let me get this straight, you take the serum and you get an extra *lung*? > that can breathe in any thing even poisonous gases. Slave 1 races into a asteroid > field hoping that this will shake them off. The X-wing dropped like flies, SHION: That's what you get for hiring cheap labor. > excepted for five skilled pilots. MARTA: Yahoo! Go Rogue Squadron, go! LING LING: Yeah! Go Wedge! SHION: I take it Wedge should be added to the list, then? NORIKO: What list? SHION: The one that reads: Chow Yun Fat, Jet Lee and Mel Gibson. LING LING: Hey, I know what I like, so sue me. > Slave one spins around, and attacks. NORIKO: How did we go from 'Slave' 1 to 'Slave one'? SHION: Poor editing. > With all enemies out of his way NORIKO: My, that was quick. What happened to the 'five skilled pilots'? SHION: Poor writing. > Boba Fett continues his quest to Jabba, MARTA: Star Wars Six: The Quest for Jabba. > who will pay greatly for the information. Once out of the asteroid field, > Boba Fett was intercepted by imperial Tie Fighters and Bombers. LING LING: Uh... where are all these ships coming from? MARTA: What is this? Jane's Guide to Star Wars Fighter Craft? NORIKO: Oh, and that's 'Imperial' and 'TIE' Fighter. TIE is an acronym, you know. LING LING: What's it stand for? SHION: Twin-ion engine. > Slave 1 did a half loop and spun back into the Asteroid field. > Boba Fett was going to make it SHION : Almost there... almost there... > but reinforcements of X-Wings had arrived. LING LING: Right... this is starting to sound like a Marx Brothers sketch. > Slave 1 spun down ward to the bottom of the field. MARTA: Any lower and he's going to go off the movie screen. > Soon he realized that he was no longer being chased, > but a battle had started above him. Several Tie Bombers had followed > him and bombed Boba Fett. LING LING: 'Bombed Boba Fett'... that sounds like someting you get in a cheap bar. > Boba Fett lost control of Slave 1, and now is crash landing NORIKO: Duck! It's an out of control tense change! > on a near by planet. Boba Fett bailed out once near ground. > Slave 1 is in peices, months of repair to do. MARTA : My ship is ruined! SHION : It's only a model. LING LING: Sshhh! > Boba Fett looks around at the area around him, MARTA: Saigon! I'm still in Saigon! SHION: Hey! That's *my* line! > It was a forest area, looking like no civilization. NORIKO: Well, yes. Forests usually don't look like civilization, buildings and people do. > A low growl and a dim, red light appeared in his eye. LING LING : Have you seen Sarah Conner? > Boba Fett readied his blaster. Through the dark woods appeared a pack of > wolves. MARTA: Ahhh! It's an Independent Counsel! > "Dinner time," a voice in the back ground yells. > A small boy in blue pants appears with a large staff out of the air. NORIKO: Umm... individually the words make sense, but all together... > The kid began smashing the wolves into the ground. LING LING: Oh, the Sierra Club is going to be mad when they see this! > Boba Fett just stood there in suprise. >The boy jumped from behind Boba Fett and landed on his blaster. > The boy continued to fight the pack of wolves until they were all gone. SHION: No one will be admitted during the breathtaking 'boy fights wolves' scene! > "Hey kid your going to buy me a new blaster or else," said Boba Fett. > Getting the boys attention. MARTA: How? LING LING: Knowing Boba Fett? Shooting the kid. > The boy looked over at Boba Fett and jumped back. MARTA & LING LING : "Jump! Go ahead and jump!" > "You are the weirdest monster I have ever seen. > Because you look so scary does not mean you can take my dinner," > growled the kid. > With that the boy leaped a Boba Fett, kicking him in the stomach. MARTA: Hikeeba! LING LING: Gymkata! > With a back flip, the boy leaped onto a tree branch. ALL : Ohhh!!! Ahhh!!! > Boba Fett fired up his jet pack and flew at the boy. Before Boba > Fett could punch the boy, the kid swung around with his tail NORIKO: Tail? When did the kid get a tail? SHION: Get real, this guy described Boba Fett crash landing in one sentence and you expect him to remember a minor detail like a character description? > and kick Boba Fett. The boy grabed his staff MARTA: Whoa! This has turned into a lemon story all of a sudden! LING LING: That's not the staff they mean, stupid! SHION: Could have fooled me. > and said, "Powervul extend now. MARTA: You were saying? EVERYONE ELSE: ... > The staff extended SHION: I sure wish it was that easy. I'd never leave the house. NORIKO: Keep it up and Tenchi's not going to post this. MARTA: Yeah, right. > jamming Boba Fett into a tree. Blackness faded into Boba Fett. MARTA: Boy, Boba Fett sure likes it rough! MAGIC VOICE: All right, that's enough! > Boba Fett awoke with a weird noise, ALL: Uh... pass. MARTA: Worst case of morning breath I've ever seen. > crunch then clank. Boba Fett looked at his ship and the boy > was taking huge bites out of Boba Fetts tools. SHION: Whoa! Hey, Russell! This is Son Goku we're talking about, *not* Matter Eater Lad! > "What are you doing that my ship. Now I can not fix my ship," > yelled Boba Fett. SHION: What a crybaby, I told him it was only a model. LING LING: Shhh! > The boy looked up. "So you can talk. You don't scare me any more, if fact NORIKO: 'If fact'? What is this, a flow chart? MARTA: Do you think this story makes any sense? YES/NO. LING LING: NO. > you never scared me. My name is Goku," said Goku Joyfully. LING LING: Goku Joyfully? Who's he? MARTA: Goku Cheerfully's brother. SHION: And cousin to Goku Happily. NORIKO: Uncle to Goku Enthusiastically. > "You have trashed my tools and now I cannot fix my ship," > Repeated Boba Fett. > "Maybe You could wish it back," Said Goku. MARTA : And monkeys might fly outta my butt! > "Huh," Said Boba Fett. NORIKO: Such stirring dialogue! Such character development and interaction! > "you will have to wait until Bulma gets here, because I don't have a bleeper. MARTA: That's Dragon Radar! NORIKO: May I point out that 'Slave 1' became 'Slave one' briefly? > She is coming here today," Says Goku Just then a car pulls up, > and a girl with blue hair steps out. SHION: Pardon me, can you tell me how to get out of this fanfic? > Goku runs over to meet her. "Bulma, my new friend NORIKO: Goku sure has an odd definition of 'friend'. > wants the dragon balls so we can fix his ship," says Goku LING LING: We also need a gallon of super glue, an X-acto knife, some paint brushes and 200 tank model kits for spare parts. > "Okay where is he," says Bulma. A tap on her shoulder by Boba Fett, > gets her attention. Bulma looks over, and shrieks at the sight o Boba Fett. MARTA : O'Boba Fett, Irish bounty hunter! LING LING : Nick Danger, private eye! SHION : Rex Dart, eskimo spy! > Goku kicks Boba Fett as if to say stop it, you are scaring every body. > Boba Fett shoots a steel wire at Goku wrapping him up. NORIKO: Back to the lemon story I see. > Bulma drops her bleeper and runs to her car. MARTA: Dragon Radar! > "What was that for, now she won't help us," Says Goku > standing free from ropes, next to Boba Fett. NORIKO: Now the steel wire has become 'ropes'. I'm amazed that Russell has managed to keep everyone's names correct through this. SHION: Well, Fett was 'Fetts' for a moment there. > Boba Fett looked over at the steel rope and saw it was all ripped up. NORIKO: I give up... steel wire, rope, steel rope... it's all the same to Russell. > "Show me how to use this Bleeper and then I will go," Says Boba Fett. LING LING: Throw me the idol, I throw you the whip! > Goku shows Boba Fett how to use the bleeper, and without saying good bye, > he leaves. SHION: Good riddance. MARTA: To who? We don't know who left? All it says is 'he leaves'. NORIKO: Does it matter? > Boba Fett is now flying through the air, racing to find the seven magic > dragon balls. He has been fling for a hour now, NORIKO: 'Fling'? > and left Goku far behind. > Bulma's bleeper indicated that a Dragon Ball has near by. > Boba Fett lands on a small settlement. NORIKO: That must be a pretty small settlement if Boba Fett can land *on* it. > The entire place looked Deserted. SHION: Welcome to Deserted, please bring money. MARTA: Y'all come back agin, y'hear? > Then the ground shook. MARTA: A shot ran out! LING LING: Then the maid screamed! SHION: And a pirate ship appeared on the horizon! NORIKO: And... hey... what happened to the rest of the story? MAGIC VOICE: Believe it or not, that is all there was. SHION: You must be kidding. MAGIC VOICE: I'm afraid not. NORIKO: *That* was a colossal waste of time, do you realize that? MAGIC VOICE: Would you rather read all 150k of "The Eye of Argon"? ALL: NO!!! MAGIC VOICE: All right then. Now, your C&C, please. LING LING; You have to be kidding, right? How can we C&C something that was barely a page long? SHION: Yes, if this had been in script format, I would have thought Koopa had written it. MAGIC VOICE: Well... it did come off of his web site. MARTA: Why am I not surprised? NORIKO: Alright, let's get this over with. I for one was totally unimpressed with the spelling, grammar and editing. SHION: I found the action scenes laughable. Russell describes space battles, crashing ships and a fight between Goku and a pack of wolves in only the most vaguest of terms, resulting in total reader disinterest. LING LING: I for one found the entire plot to be vague. I mean, Russell doesn't even *try* to set up anything resembling a sense of setting, time or place. He can't even be bothered to describe what people look like! MARTA: May I mention that both Boba Fett and Son Goku are written acting in ways that are totally out of character to what we'd expect? Fett is a tough, hard-as-nails bounty hunter, he's going to take what he wants and not bother to ask. Goku might banter with an opponent, but there is no way he's going to eat tools, or call Fett a 'friend' after getting into a fight with him. MAGIC VOICE: I take it you were less than impressed with the story? ALL: Damn straight! MAGIC VOICE: I see... well, Jamie Jeans has announced that he is no longer willing to review David Gonterman's "American Kitsune" series... interested? NORIKO: Do we have a choice? MAGIC VOICE: Well... no. SHION: Who cares! Bring him on! I can't wait to rip into some more of that guy's poor attempts at writing! LING LING: Well, compared to what we just read, Gonterman reads like Shakespeare. MAGIC VOICE: Oh, and Marta? Jamie says he is looking for a Mai Shuranuai lemon for you. MARTA: He is? Oh... thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you Jamie! SHION: Oh no... \ / \ / -- O -- FFIIIIISSHHHH / \ / \ NORIKO: Gonterman hunh? I wonder what Shion will do *this* time? "Boba Fetts Search for the Seven Dragon Balls" written by Russell. No copyright infringement indended by this MSTing, which is for amusement purposes only. Shion Nys & Marta Nys (c) 1997 Michael Surbrook Noriko Kobayashi created by Jeff Mueller, used with permission. Ling Ling Li Copyright (c) 1987-97 by Yuzo Takada. This version was used without permission. MSTed by Michael Surbrook susano@otd.com Visit Surbrook's Stuff! A Hero System/Champions source (especially for anime and manga material) at http://www.otd.com/~susano/index.html > The boy grabed his staff and said, "Powervul extend now.