[SCENE: A dimly lit room. All that can be seen is a large plush couch, a big screen TV and a VCR. The far door opens and Noriko Kobayashi enters the room, quickly followed by Ling Ling Li.] NORIKO: I have never been so embarrassed in all my life. LING LING: I don't know, her, really. I've never seen her before. NORIKO: Don't even try it. [From off screen.] MARTA: Nooooo!!! I don't want to! SHION: Oh yes you are! There is *no* way I'm going to sit through another one of these alone! MARTA: Nooooo!!! SHION: Don't make me get angry! [Back in the room] NORIKO: Oh great, that's all we need. LING LING: What? NORIKO: I've seen Shion angry. We'd be lucky to have a building left. LING LING: oh... [Shion Nys enters the room, dragging her sister, Marta Nys, by the ankle. With a disgusted sigh she tosses Marta onto the couch and slams the door.] SHION: And stay there! MARTA : Bitch... NORIKO: Are you two through? SHION: Yes... I can't believe she's acting that way. You'd think she's 12 instead of 26. LING LING : What ever. Can we just get this over with? MARTA: Well, that might be a problem. NORIKO: Hmm... More fan mail? Oh, great! SHION: What? NORIKO: Mike says we need to identify ourselves to the reader better. He wants us to describe ourselves! LING LING: You're kidding? NORIKO: I'm afraid not It's all right here. EVERYONE ELSE : SHION: Well, Noriko, you read the letter, you start. NORIKO : I suppose I must. Hello, my name is Noriko Kobayashi, aged 26. I stand 5'3", weigh 105 lbs and have black hair and green eyes. At the moment, I am chief of the Mega-Tokyo office of the Attacked Mystification Police. When not engaged in pointless C&C of fan fiction I live in the universe known as "Silent Mobius Zeta", a Hero System RPG universe derived from Kia Asamiya's "Silent Mobius" manga. MARTA: If you want to know more, visit www.otd.com/~susano/silentmobius.html, where you can see Mike's assorted files, essays and character sheets for the game. NORIKO: What! What sort of shameless, self-gratifying crap was that? MARTA: Well *excuse* me! SHION: I'd also like to mention that the 'little seaweed girl' is found in *our* universe as well. NORIKO: Stop calling me that!!! LING LING: Uh, look, will someone please explain that one to me? MARTA: Oh, it's simple. 'Nori' is a type of dried seaweed, and 'ko' is usually used to end a girl's name in Japan. It means 'little girl' I think. LING LING: Oh, I see. NORIKO: I'd like to point out that my name can be translated out to mean almost anything... all right! SHION: Yes, but this is the only thing I know that really irritates you, so deal with it. NORIKO: As you wish... *Ice Empress*. SHION: Why you! LING LING: SILENCE! MARTA: How about *I* go next? LING LING: Yes, please. MARTA : Hello! I'm Marta Nys, little sister to the big bad Empress (points at Shion). I belong to Mike's anime/cyberpunk universe for the Hero System RPG, which he calls "Kazei Five". It takes place in the year 2031 and is highly reminiscent of Artmic's "Bubblegum Crisis" OVA series... SHION: Marta! MARTA: What? SHION: No one cares about that! Describe *you*! MARTA: Oh... okay. Ahem, I stand 5'5" and weigh close to 160 lbs, due to my steel-laced skeleton... LING LING : So *that's* why she's so heavy... SHION: MARTA: ... I have black hair down to my waist, dark brown eyes and the sort of physique that you normally find on fitness models. LING LING: Like Kiana Tom? SHION: Well, I always through she looked more like Amy Lynn. MARTA : Anyway, if you're familier with the game Shadowrun, I'm what's known as a 'street samurai'. SHION: Now you, Ling Ling. LING LING : Okay... my name is Ling Ling Li, and I too am a resident of the Kazei Five universe. Mike swiped me, or a version of me anyway, from Yuzo Takada's "3x3 Eyes" manga. I still live in Hong Kong, but I have nothing to do with monsters or the supernatural, instead I'm what's known as a 'fixer', buying and selling goods and information all across the Pacific Rim. I stand 5'8" and weigh 130 lbs, with black eyes and black hair to my waist. It you are familiar with Adam Warren's 'Dirty Pair' manga, I'm a Lucian genetic upgrade, which means I'm substantially faster, stronger and tougher than an unmodified human, although I'm nowhere close to the cybernetically enhanced. MARTA: And if you go to http://www.otd.com/~susano/index.html, you can find two different character sheets for Ling Ling, one for Kazei Five and one for 3x3 Eyes, as well as some nice pictures in the art gallery. NORIKO: All right, 'Empress' you go next. SHION : I am Shion Nys, also known as 'the Empress' due to my aristocratic bearing and sense of class... MARTA: Not to mention her snotty attitude and arrogant behavior. NORIKO: Unhunh. SHION : ... I am the second most powerful psychokinetic in the world of Kazei Five, and am capable of crushing tanks, deflecting cannon shells and lifting well over 100 tons with my telekinetic powers. I stand 6'1" and weigh close to 165 lbs. My hair is snowy white and falls to my knees, and my eyes are grey. MARTA: Right! And if you want to see my big sister's really disgusting character sheet, go to http://www.otd.com/~susano/shion.html; if you want to see her picture, go to http://www.otd.com/~susano/gallery.html. NORIKO: Are we through with the crass commericalism? MARTA: I think so. NORIKO: Good. Ling Ling, if you'd do the honors? LING LING : Here we go again. AKANES DELERYIUM MiSTed by Michael Surbrook with Noriko Kobayashi, Ling Ling Li, Marta Nys and Shion Nys ranma.amg.akanes-deleriumÆZRranma.amg.akanes- NORIKO: Ack! What *is* this gibberish? delerium8jZpTEXTR*ch<»eýûÆZRÆZRÅÅTentropy@break.com.au MARTA: Well, that settles it, we're all delirious. LING LING: Obviously, entropy isn't what it used to be. SHION: (Stuart George) A bit of Ranma 1/2, Ah My Goddess! XoverFanFic NORIKO: Well... that *might* work... SHION: Not a chance. MARTA: Oh yeah! Urd! ^_^ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LING LING: Tides in I see. Akanes Deleryium : Part 1 NORIKO: Wonderful, another fanfic with a total disregard for proper spelling and punctuation. Hey up guys, this is a fanfic with a diff ;), mainly it contains SHION: What? Not a trace of self-insertion? NORIKO: We can only hope. no mention of the word "mom", no dodgy yankanised spelling here! LING LING: Marta? Is 'yankanised' a real word? MARTA: I don't think so... As my first fanfic, give me comments, etc, else there wont be any more. ;) (Hey! your not supposed to smirk!) SHION: We're not smirking, we're grimacing in pain. There is no set amount of parts, i have a very BASIC idea, NORIKO: BASIC? You'd think he'd use something more advanaced? MARTA: Like what? COBOL? LING LING: C++. SHION: HTML. how long i drag it on for depends opon the alignment of the planets, MARTA: Great, this guy writes when his horoscope tells him too. and amount of lust for the characters i have. LING LING: Uh oh, Urd's in this, this could be a bad sign. MARTA: Maaaayyybe... maaaayyybe not. --/\-[ Disclaimer ]-/\-- This fanfic is a conspiracy against you. Every living being on the planet has signed an agreement to make your life a living hell. NORIKO & SHION : That explains everything! If it degenerates into a lemon fanfic, then you know what kinda mood I'm in ;) SHION: I see, this fic was written with Marta in mind then. MARTA: Hey! As an added bonus, it comes complete with weird spelling, unconventional use of words and total disreguard for grammer. NORIKO: Why me! WHY ME! --=[*]=-- MARTA: Anyone recognize that hood ornament? SHION: I think it's from a Studebaker. Copyright All appearances of other peoples characters are their property. NORIKO: Which I have shamelessly stolen for my own perverse uses. Takahashi keeps the Ranma folk Fujishima has tabs on the Ah My Goddess crew Moriyama concieved the Project A-Ko gang SHION: A-ko... that means an appearance by... NORIKO : C-ko! Entropy is just the fly on the wall. SHION: And he should stay there. And yeah, i have ozstraylienised the whole lot of em. MARTA: Uh, Noriko? Is 'ozstraylienised' a real word? NORIKO: Not that I've ever heard of. "If you dont expect too much from me then you might not be dissapointed" SHION: Hunh... the first intelligent thing he's said so far. For those of you who dont like my, ah, um, "style" of writting NORIKO: That would be me. well you can just sod off, its me, its how i write. Take it or leave it. MARTA: Hahaha! He's got you there Noriko! NORIKO: SHION: 'Sod off'? LING LING: I think the writer's from Australia. Last note, you may recognise the names, but with a lot of bad luck I have totally screwed up their character. ;) LING LING: Wonderful, yet another writer who mishandles the subject matter. I think that about covers it for any mistakes i could make..... NORIKO: I don't think so. Entropy [*]-[*]-[*]-[*]-[*]-[*]-[*]-[*]-[*]-[*]-[*]-[*]-[*] MARTA: What the heck are those? LING LING: My guess is a bunch of barrels roped together. SHION: Tank tracks? NORIKO: A fence? Akanes Deleryium or Crossover Into the Real World NORIKO: I feel delirious already... --/\-[ Part 1 ]-/\-- Akane is sitting on her bed gazing out the window and thinks to herself SHION: How did I let myself get talked into this fanfic? SHION: Is this Melbourne or London? MARTA: This reads like Cure song lyrics. She pulled her knees up to her chin and curled some hair back behind her left ear and harumphed a deep breath. MARTA : But I don't want to go to Miami! LING LING: Sorry, Akane, you're not ugly. Colone... *that's* ugly. Akane lowers he feet to the floor and pulls a copy of Vogue into her lap MARTA: Yeah, the standard for modern beauty... ALL: NOT!!! and stares at all that thick ugly makeup on the face of Cindy Crawford [df: Cindy puts on waaaaaay too much] SHION: So, little sister, what do you think? MARTA: Why ask me? NORIKO: Because you're the only one here who likes girls. MARTA: I think Cindy Crawford is way too skinny and has *no* muscle tone. Happy? Kasumi enters with a creak of floorboards and goes to Akanes closet for a rumage around. LING LING: Hmmm... I know I left that axe around here somewhere! "Oneesan?" "Hai Akane?". MARTA : Not yet... turning her head to smile at her but aloud she says "Whats got you so down Akane?" LING LING : I want you to know I'm very depressed. "Do you really think I am a as uncute as Ranma says?" SHION: Katsumi, as one elder sister to another, let me give you some advice. There is no correct way to answer that question. Kasumi closes Akanes closet and turns around completely to face her, frowning a little Sitting down on the floral spread next to Akane, she puts her arm around her shoulders MARTA: Whohoo! Lemon scene time! LING LING : Wake up! Who want's to see a lemon between Kasumi and Akane? SHION: Agreed. If we have to sit through a Ranma 1/2 lesbian scene, at least make it interesting... like Ukyo and Shampoo or something. "Of course not, everyone is pretty in their own special way. SHION: Translation: you're ugly. And besides, since when did you seriously consider what Ranma has to say." NORIKO: Since, oh... episode 4 of the series? Akane just looks down, that piece of hair coming out from behind her left ear. MARTA : My brain hurts! Kasumi gives Akane a quick study from head to toe. "You know what your problem is dont you. You chi is out of balance." LING LING : "Causing person to turn into demon and live forever!" "Yes, but am i ugly?" Akane pulls in a deep breath "Look at all these women in here" she thrusts the Vogue into Kasumis' face "They all have nice long hair, slim figure and ample breasts. There is not a muscle on them" NORIKO : Hmmm... SHION: You have something to say, 'little seaweed girl'? NORIKO: Only that that line describes you three perfectly. LING LING: No it doesn't, all three - no - all four of use have pretty decent muscle tone. MARTA : Jealous, Noriko? NORIKO: No! SHION: Oh, we've struck a nerve I see. MARTA: Aw, she's just peeved 'cause she never gets any in her stories. NORIKO: Oh yes, unlike you, Marta, I don't hop into bed with anything with two legs and a pulse. MARTA: Why you! LING LING : Enough! We're supposed to be watching a fanfic, remember? SHION : That reminds me. Ling Ling, you're Chinese, how is that you're so... well endowed? LING LING : What?! NORIKO: Easy, plastic surgery, just like Minka. LING LING: Wrong! I'm not like Minka, she's got enough silicone in her to build a computer! SHION: Then what's your secret? LING LING : Like I said, it's because I'm a Lucian genetic upgrade. My parents had the program implanted when I was a teenager. Aside from making me stronger, faster and healthier, it uh... had a few other... uh... positive qualities. SHION: See Noriko, there's hope for you yet. NORIKO: MARTA: And I can vouch that they're 100% real! SHION & NORIKO : Excuse me? LING LING <*big* sweatdrop>: Hey, let's get back to the fanfic, right! "Stop this Akane! Your not ugly, Ranma only teases you because NORIKO: He's a completly self-centered twit. Right? EVERYONE ELSE: Agreed. LING LING: Sure is handsome through. EVERYONE ELSE: Agreed. he does not know how to act around you. You have a slim figure and there is nothing wrong with the size of your breasts. MARTA: Yeah, more than a mouthful... LING LING : That's enough! MARTA: Owww!!! A lot of women would give their soul to look like you." SHION: Hey, we're anime characters. It's not *our* fault we're drawn this way... Akane looks back down thinking MARTA: Oh yeah? Go turn on ESPN sometime while Kiana Tom is flexing *her* muscles and doing *her* workout and watch how many guys turn into drooling idiots watching *her*. Kasumi just shakes her head and gives Akane a pat on the back, then leaves. MARTA: A Jedi knight? LING LING: The last empress of a dying race? SHION: One of the Spice Girls? NORIKO: A Sailor Senshi? SHION: Oh god, I hope not. Akane goes on flipping through the pages of the Vogue magazine, idly pauses to look at how beautiful and skinny all the women NORIKO: I'd like to point out that most women in Vogue are anorexic sticks. LING LING: Well, yes, but none of *us* are what you'd call chunky either. MARTA: No, we're all in shape due to exercise, *not* due to stupid starvation diets. are, taking in an ad that appears down towards the corner of the page. - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - MARTA : "I walk forty-seven miles of barbed wire, I got a cobra snake for a necktie..." [DF: Mara! who? well I've seen her name as Mara, Maimer, Marller so.... she's from Ah My Goddess! if u r wondering, but I'm sticking with the name Mara, I like it better SHION: Yes, but Marller sounds more Norse. For those unfamiliar with the AMG world, Mara has a penchant for loving women, well, Belldandy actually] SHION: What do you know little sister, your kind of girl. MARTA: Thank you, no. Demonesses are not my style. NORIKO: Oh yeah? How about Megumi Jyaku from _Overfiend_? MARTA: Oh, that's different, she's from the Beast realm. EVERYONE ELSE: Mara is sitting on the edge of the bed, firelight dances on the pale skin of her back, she leans forward, arms stretched outwards with her fingers interwoven and pulls the kinks out of her back. MARTA: Whoa... I'm liking this scene already! SHION: Calgon take me away! [DF: Where looking from the back you hentai!, and no, we cant see her creamy white butt, thats covered by the sheet thats gathered] MARTA: Damn! LING LING: Considering the way this aside is written , I don't see why he didn't just go ahead write it like that. She pulls on a Front Line Assembly t-shirt over her head, shrugs SHION: Who? NORIKO: Got me. on her leather jacket and gets a compact from out of her pocket. Flipping the compact open she takes out the little brush thingy [DF: ;) I dunno what it is, I dont ware makeup! honest!] NORIKO: How about 'makeup brush'? MARTA : Baka... swirls the padded end in the mixture and applies the ceremonial purple warpaint onto her face that designates her as a Demoness First class unlimited. LING LING: Wrong! Mara's facial markings aren't paint! They're permanent, just like the goddesses' facial markings. MARTA : Baka... MARTA: What, is Ryouga there? She flicks the hair from out of her jacket and turns the collar up. SHION: James Dean, eat your heart out! NORIKO: Mara: Demoness without a chance. LING LING: If it wasn't for bad luck, she'd have no luck at all. Mara screws up her pert little nose. MARTA : Ewww... Akane's cooking again! LING LING: Mara's got the hots for Nabiki? SHION: Forget it, Nabiki's already sold her soul to the devil. A most wicked grin curls her mouth. "Now Sayoko, its time for another visit!" NORIKO: Wonderful this *is* going to be a lemon. - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - MARTA: Someone needs to clear all this barbed wire. "Kawaikune girl!" "Hermaphrodite!" ALL: Ahhh! Nooooo!!! No Oscar!!! NO OSCAR!!! "Butch Bitch!" "Ranma no Baka!" Akane growled, whilst high-kicking the poor sod LING LING: Ah yes... the patented Takahashi Low Earth Orbit Strike. through the roof of the dojo! his prone body launched high into the stratosphere to plumet back through the hole he created opon his exit to land at her foot. SHION: Kneel Ranma, son of Genma! Kneel before the might of Akane! LING LING: Kneel before Zod! Akane was standing in the middle of the dojo, her face red as a rose, her leg was still pointed straight up into the air, and a crumpled Ranma laying at her feet. erk.. "I love it. " sputter "when you do that" with that he SHION: I see, Ranma is secretly a masochist. LING LING: What do you mean 'secretly'? Akane hits him like that *all* the time. blushed bright red. (Akane STILL had her leg pointed straight up in the air) "Aieee HENTAI!" she screamed ALL: (realising that she shouldnt have high kicked him when wearing a dress), MARTA: I see England, I see France, I can see Akane's underpants! NORIKO: How old are you again? bringing her leg down and catching him with the heel of her foot right between the eyes. LING LING: Oww! Ranma thought, MARTA : Oh, I'm sooo impressed. then realised he was thinking about Akanes nickers, looeses conciousness. NORIKO: Shouldn't he suffer a nosebleed, like the rest of the anime males? Akane stommped off LING LING: I'll put on my best karate gi, the one with all the flowers on it! - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - LING LING: More wire! It's going to take forever to clean this mess up. "Why should I do what you say Mara!" It was not a question. SHION: Sorry, but all answers must be phrased in the form of a question. Sayoko, radiant and beautiful as ever LING LING: I see; do you suppose the author *likes* Sayoko by any chance? was tired of Mara not following through with her promises. MARTA : You said you'd help me find my G-spot! "Because this time, Belldandy will leave for good. We made a deal remember. I said I would help get rid of Belldandy for you if you helped me." LING LING : "The agreement was I wouldn't kill you." NORIKO: Somebody's been watching "The Road Warrior" again. LING LING: So Mel Gibson makes me hot. Sue me! MARTA: I thought it was Chow Yun-Fat? LING LING: Him too. "I remember, I helped you, and Belldandy is still here" MARTA: When do I get my refund? "Ah, but this time, I can get rid of her for good. All we have to do is make Keiichi fall out of love with her" SHION: And there isn't a bookie alive that will give you odds on *that* happening. "Gee, havnt we tried to do that before?" NORIKO: Only about a million times. Mara really should try switching tactics one and a while. Sayoko shifted, her wait from one leg to the other, clearly not amused at Maras presence in her life again. NORIKO : We are *not* amused. "Yes, but we used the wrong bait. SHION: Yes, this time I'm going to contract out and use Nuku-Nuku, it's a proven fact that *no one* can resist her charms. NORIKO: You're kidding right? SHION: Ever seen her OVAs?, Boys flock around her in droves You Sayoko, were not good enough MARTA: In bed. to entice Keiichi away from here, MARTA: Oops, my mistake. but now, I have all the ingrediants for chaos in my palm! SHION: She has a mini-Urd? HAhahaahah" SHION: Ack... she's turning into Kodachi! MARTA: No, that's HOHOhohohohohohoho!!! LING LING: You scare me. There was a loud harumph. ALL: Harumph!!! "What will you use for bait this time? NORIKO: Black roses loaded with paralysis gas. Works on Ranma *all* the time. SHION: See, she *is* turning into Kodachi. There is noone better than me for Keiichi" thought Sayoko. LING LING: How dare she tell me how to ruin someone elses life! "Ha, easy, for some reasone even God doesnt know, Akane Tendo is a guy magnet. MARTA: Oh that's easy. The answer is in her jeans. LING LING: Genes? What's so special about Akane's... ALL: MARTA! All we have to do is get them two together. Then Belldandy will have no reason to stay anymore." NORIKO: Is it just me, or does this plan sound overly optimistic? MARTA: I just can't wait to see what happens when Ranma comes to the 'rescue'. "Hmmm" Sayoko takes it all in NORIKO: Because they usually require totally improbable events to occur in order to succeed. - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - SHION: Anyone have some wire cutters? Urd is laying on a couch, there seems to be warm sunlight comming from all directions. She is wearing a swimsuit that makes her shape more pronounced than the plastic little gang in swimsuits. MARTA: Oh wow... @_@ NORIKO: Considering the shape of most of the women in "Plastic Little" that sounds a mite painful. LING LING: Well, Urd is a goddess, she doesn't have to conform to any human norm. SHION: Yeah, she seems to defy gravity pretty well. In a pool of water (with several yellowy-white frangapani flowers MARTA: A what flower? LING LING: It's real, trust me. floating around) the image of Ranma starring straigt up Akanes dress MARTA: Urd's tuned into the Spice channel I see. is visable on the surface. thought Urd. LING LING: Yeah, like Urd's love life gives her any room to talk. "Not If i get my way" whispered a voice. MARTA: What? Urd's at Burger King? Urds body stiffened MARTA: Oh wow! "Alright comeout now!" she demanded, and with that her hed jerked backwards as a hand appeared covering her mouth, the other hand appearing to give her right breast a gentle squeeze. MARTA : Hey, she's mine! Hands off! SHION : Nice try, little sister. MARTA: Ow... "Chotto abunai ne Urd?" as one body disipitated while the other body took on a new disguise. NORIKO: I have a bad feeling about this. - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - MARTA: I give up, anyone *else* have a barbed wire joke? Akane stood out the front of the Norne temple, and glanced at the NORIKO: That's 'Norn's'! add in Vogue magazine " We can solve all your problems, at little charge. NORIKO: All we do is give you new ones to worry about. This months Special : Curing Feminazis of mad cows disease! ALL: & Puting the 'femanine' back into the female! SHION: SHION : Go on, say it! I *dare* you to say it! I *double* dare you! MARTA : Say what? I wasn't going to say anything. SHION : You better not. EVERYONE ELSE: Half price this month only for Curing Cuteness! NORIKO: I don't suppose we could use that on the Sailor Senshi? LING LING: Probably not. NORIKO: Too bad. & Castration of Home Boys! MARTA: I see, this must have been the ad Lorana Bobbitt found. Come see Urd, Love goddess of Yggdrasil. She can solve all your problems. NORIKO: While creating many more for you. Then in very very very very tiny writting (that Akane cannot read) "Urd is not responsible for any problems she creates" SHION: Hey, I want that in *my* contracts! Akane paused before ringing the brass bell. Pushing the bell the LING LING : Somebody's at the door! thought crosses her mind. MARTA: Stupid men, they never love who you want them too. Hmph! she pushed the button and held her finger down with a little more force and continued to hold the button down until the door opened. SHION : Enough already! "Hello and welcome the Morisato residence" beamed a young and gorgeous looking girl with raven hair. LING LING: Hey! What's with this Entropy guy? Skuld is only 12, calling her 'gorgeous' is treading on dangerous ground! NORIKO: This better not turn out like those Sasami fics! EVERYONE ELSE: "You may call me Skuld" she said grabbing Akane by the arm. NORIKO : And I'm going to call you today's experiment. MARTA: What? They've got Washu-chan in there? LING LING: Worse, Urd. MARTA: Urr... "Urd.... Urd! customer!" screamed Skuld, leading Akane down the hallway. SHION : Uh... Ms. Skuld? Why are you laughing? "So what can I do for you today Miss ?" MARTA: Teach her how to cook? NORIKO: Sorry, that's another Ranma/AMG crossover. MARTA : Really? "Akane. You can call me Akane" she said meekly. MARTA : Tendo... Akane Tendo. "Ms Akane, then" A blood curdling scream rocketed through the air followed by a sharp "te he. hehehehe" SHION: Oh, Kodachi must be here. "Never mind that Akane, but we are having a hard time curing Ms C-Ko of her terrible disease. MARTA: That she can't cook either? SHION: Her constant crying? NORIKO: The fact that she's 16 and still hasn't hit puberty? LING LING: You three are cruel... Errm" Skuld whipped out her Nanotech Problem Atomizer mk 2, SHION: Basically it's a high-tech device that goes 'ping'. which resembled something from ghost busters, complete with flashing lights and little wings LING LING: Hmm... says here you're built like a stick, your legs are too thick and you can't kick. SHION: Now who's being cruel? MARTA: Goodness Akane, you're suffering from Industrial Disease! that rose from out of the side and emmited a whiny droning noise. "I think you would like some femininity. Hai?" SHION: Hmmm... I wonder what it would say about you? "Hai" she mumbled. NORIKO : Stupid fanfic authors... "No, you are not stupid Akane Tendo, one goes to great lengths to entrap the soul of a loved one" SHION : And fanfic authors go to great lengths to set up useless crossovers. Akane looked up, shocked at the beauty that stood before her. Very long white hair, tanned skin, ample cleavage, green eyes. LING LING & NORIKO : Hmm... SHION: Sorry, my eyes are gray. MARTA: Yeah, so? SHION: Uh... I'm taller? MARTA : Unhunh, you should've seen her at the Halloween party. She was perfect! SHION : I'll never live that down... She sighed again, looking down at her feet. LING LING : I am filled with shame. Urd smiled, a big toothy smile at the down turned Akane. SHION : I have you now! __ __ /^\ | | /^\ -----------/ \-----| END OF PART 1 |-----/ \------------ / \ |__ __| / \ MARTA: Oh look, Twin Peaks! NORIKO: This made about as much sense as Twin Peaks too. Erk! all flames to Entropy LING LING: See, I told you he was Australian. NORIKO: So ka, that explains everything. Comming Attractions : Skuld vs Nene : Part 1 I have an idea kicking around for Skuld to meet Nene in a technological showodown LING LING: My money's on Skuld, hands down. that kills of Skuld ALL: What!!! and puts Nene in charge of running the Yggdrasil computer system. MARTA: Someone tell me he's kidding... please? Doh! shit, just gave away the plot! NORIKO: Such as it is. Personally, I'd call it something else. SHION: What? NORIKO: A waste of bandwidth. ah, but will that really happen? LING LING: I sure hope not. Will the the lawnmowerman intervene for his beloved Nene? NORIKO: The who? MARTA: Wait a minute, Skuld's dead? Who's going to intervene for her? SHION: Easy, Belldandy and Urd, at which point Nene is toast. Who knows, only my imagination SHION: Or lack thereof. and amount of boredom on the train will tell! LING LING: The evils of public transportation. Akanes Deleryium : Part 2 Was part 1 the end of the story? NORIKO: Of course not. These things always seem to go on forever. What has Urd been doing behind the scenes? MARTA: Trying to get laid? SHION: Marta! I... uh... well... this *is* Urd, so I'll let that slide. Who exactly is she trying to pair up. LING LING: Who knows, but I sure feel sorry for them. Her duty is to get couples togther no matter who or how its done..... MARTA: Ah, that must explain you and Takeda then, Shee. SHION: Shut up! But what will those consequences be? NORIKO: Disaster for all involved. And what affect will Sayoko have on Ranma? LING LING: Easy, he'll end up with a fifth fiance. Will Belldandy steal the heart of another? SHION: This is Belldandy, of *course* she will. MARTA: But not on purpose. SHION: True. Muwhahahahaaaa. What affect will an evil C-Ko have on the story? ALL: NO! Please, not that!!! (Apparently nothing, extracting the cuteness gland is nigh on impossible ;) LING LING: Whew! That was close. SHION: Well, the tape's ended. We've survived another one! MARTA: Well, do we do the C&C now? NORIKO: No, we have to wait till we finish part two. SHION: Wonderful. LING LING: Well, at least this was better than "Tales of the Red Knightsaber". MARTA: That's not too hard to do. [There is a click and the TV turns itself on. After a few moments of snow, the following words appear on the screen: LADIES, I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR YOU COOPERATION. AS A REWARD, THE NEXT MSTING WILL *NOT* BE PART TWO OF "AKANES DELERYIUM". INSTEAD, I WILL BE SENDING YOU A DOMINION FANFIC ENTITLED "A TYPICAL NIGHT AT THE STATION".] MARTA: Yahoo!! The Puma Sisters! SHION : Why us? LING LING: It could be worse. NORIKO: How? LING LING: It could be a lemon? MARTA: Oh yeah! With the Puma Sisters! \ / \ / -- O -- FFIIIIISSHHHH / \ / \ NORIKO: I have a bad feeling about this. Shion Nys & Marta Nys (c) 1997 Michael Surbrook Noriko Kobayashi created by Jeff Mueller, used with permission. Ling Ling Li Copyright (c) 1987-97 by Yuzo Takada. This version was used without permission. MSTed by Michael Surbrook susano@otd.com Visit Surbrook's Stuff! A Hero System/Champions source (especially for anime and manga material) at http://www. otd.com/~susano/index.html "If you dont expect too much from me then you might not be dissapointed"