OMAKE—KANU & VIVIAN ARGUE

Kanu: I can see it now. I'm going to end this fight virtually naked and covered with slime.

Vivian: Kanu, you started the fight virtually naked.

Kanu: Can I help it if I'm nearly 5'10"?

Vivian: No, but you could try wearing clothes that weren't tailored for someone who is a foot-and-a-half shorter and many years younger than you!

Kanu: I wear donated hand-me-downs. Which are usually old school uniforms. It's not like I have any money you know.

Vivian: For a lot of women, dressing like that is a way to make money...

Kanu: Are you insinuating something?

Vivian: Only that you're wearing a freaking sailor fuku! I mean, come on, that's more fetish wear these days than real clothing! Honestly, 5'10" tall women aren't that uncommon—you could find hand-me-downs in your size if you really wanted to. And they wouldn't have to be junior schoolgirl castoff's either!

Kanu: I think you missed the part where an Entity vaporized most of my clothing. Why wear anything fancy when it's just going to get destroyed? Oh, and you do realize this is Japan, right? Where even your partner and most of your fellow officers are shorter than I am?

Vivian: Oh please, Kanu! Coming from you, the phrase "most of my clothing" is an oxymoron. Are you seriously trying to tell me that you cannot find anything more appropriate or better fitting in all of Japan? That blouse is so short that if you so much as take a deep breath everyone will be able to see your nipples! And that skirt's no better—any man under six feet tall doesn't even have to bend over to see that your panties are white!

Kanu: You're just jealous that I actually have a figure while you look more like a stick.

Vivian: Oh ho, can't refute me, so turning to attack me instead? Fine. Yeah, I am jealous of your figure. But you know what? Even if I were built like you, I wouldn't be prancing around in thong panties and a skirt too short to cover more than half my ass while claiming "I'm not trying to dress sexy, it's all I can find to wear!".

Kanu: Refute? What is there to refute? Yes, I usually wear clothes that are too small for me. Yes, I have an excellent figure. Yes, I'm proud of how I look, and yes, I show it off. And if that offends you, don't ever go to Hong Kong, one of the shih there wears a cheong-sam so tight her nipples stand out! And for the record, I thought about switching to one of those skin-tight combat suits the ninja wear in all the movies, but I found I couldn't afford it, and even if I could, it probably wouldn't last more than one fight!!

(deep breath causing Vivian's eyes to go wide and her opinion of Kanu to sink even lower)

Kanu: And unlike you, I don't have a rich boss who owns a police company issuing me new equipment every time an Entity destroys mine!

Vivian: Y'know, for a moment there, I thought we were making progress. You admitted that you're proud of your figure. You admitted that you like to show it off. But then you turned around and went right back to claiming that you wear what you do because you can't afford anything else.

(Vivian shakes her head sadly)

Vivian: I'm sorry, but despite your implications to the contrary, there are alternatives between hand-me-down cosplay fetish wear and ultra-expensive high-tech combat gear. It doesn't have to be expensive to cover more of you than... well, what you're wearing right now. I just want you to admit that you wear the outfits you do because they are what you want to wear, and not because they are all that is available to you!

Kanu: Yes! I admit it! You've seen through my my facade! I like wearing cast-off school uniforms that are almost never in my size. You want to know why? Because in henati, it's the school girl how always gets it from the slavering tentacle monster. So now I get to play the same part, flash some tits, ass, and leg, and say "come get it!", and then they do, I teach them a painful and lethal lesson! There? Happy?

Vivian: Okay, first thought? Eeeeeew! I was just trying to get you to admit that you enjoyed dressing like a hooker at an anime convention. I didn't expect to hear that from you! And secondly? Eeeeeeew! You're deliberately making yourself into hentai monster bait? Y'know, I'm aware that in hentai the mystically-empowered monster-hunting young schoolgirl can only kill the slobbering tentacle monster after it's had it's way with her. So, for the third time—eeeeeew!

Kanu: (crosses her arms under her breasts and looks smug) For the record, I'm nigh-on invulnerable, sister. No tentacle monster is ever having his way with me. But, they keep trying, the fools!

Vivian: Uh huh. And being invulnerable keeps them from simply grabbing you and holding you down, how exactly? No wait, don't answer that! I didn't like where my last argument with you went, and I suspect I'd like where this one would go even less.


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